Often, people come into therapy complaining that their partner is difficult, or depressed, or self-absorbed. Yet, over the course of counseling, it becomes obvious that they, themselves, struggle with these issues.
However, instead of openly admitting and acknowledging these issues in themselves, their subconscious throws up a defensive wall, and they instead tell themselves that these issues characterize their partner.
Continue reading Are You Projecting Your Problems Onto Your Partner?
Having a crush feels amazing — the butterflies, the newness, the way you find yourself smiling when you’re thinking about that special someone. But wait, what if all those warm fuzzy feelings are happening when you’re in a committed relationship…and they’re not directed towards your significant other? Depending on the nature of you and your partner’s relationship, you might have a bit of a dilemma on your hands.
Continue reading Is it Okay to Crush if You’re in a Committed Relationship?
We have all faced moments in our lives where we felt completely inconsolable. Maybe it was after a loss like the death of a loved one — or perhaps after a devastating breakup, job loss, or any other life-change that seemed out of our control and that we grieved deeply.
At times, though, there is no discernible cause: those of us who suffer from depression or anxiety know that sometimes our feelings overwhelm us so intensely that they become hard to shake — and it feels like nothing can console us in those moments.
But what if you are on the other end of such an experience, not suffering from these feelings yourself, but witnessing an inconsolable loved one?
Continue reading What to Say to Someone When They’re Inconsolable
Science knows the secret to happiness — and it’s a lot more simple than you’d think.
That, at least, was the message of a recent New York article that summarized the scientific consensus on what makes humans happy. And, well: turns out that you could probably guess the answers. Beyond having your basic needs met, money, as your mom probably could have told you, does not buy happiness — though it can buy free time to do what you want, which does make you happier. Gratitude is good. Social connection is important. Doing things for others makes us feel better about ourselves.
This is all well and good for the long term. Sure, we all plan to incorporate more family time into our days, take up a hobby, and give back. But when you’re having a crappy day, it’s not enough to plan for the future — you want to know how can the research on happiness can make your day better now.
If you’re anything like me, you have a routine set in place from the moment you wake up.
Open eyes.
Check the dog…yep, still breathing.
Roll over and check on my boyfriend — yup, he’s still breathing, too.
From there, I immediately grab my phone and open each social media app to see what breaking news I’ve missed over the last, oh, six hours, and then begin my day.
Some of my routines, the morning workout, might be beneficial, but the more I work on my mental health, the more I realize that some of my daily habits could potentially be harming my well-being. Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit and former business writer for the New York Times, writes that “Routines are the organizational analogue of habits,” and that starting new habits can be as difficult as breaking bad ones — but that harnessing the power of routine can have powerful effects on both productivity and our mental state.
Continue reading 5 Daily Habits That Are Actually Hurting Your Mental Health
Many are drawn to big cities for their vibrant culture and promise of better career opportunities — just ask the 80 percent of the U.S. population that lives in an urban area. And while the allure of “city lights” can both inspire and provide an escape from the monotony of more rural environments, the constant crowds, congestion, and noise can actually trigger and worsen a person’s anxiety.
It is widely understood that many who live in a city experience daily stress, such as public transportation issues and rapidly rising rent costs, but research reveals the stress of urban living is more than just a daily annoyance — it significantly impacts a person’s mental health. So what is it about the city that makes a person’s anxiety spike?
There are three primary ways.
Everyone has their own way of embracing self-care and addressing their mental health. It’s important for your mental well-being and can provide a valuable reset that leaves you more positive and productive going forward. Today, we’re sharing some secret tips from a therapist on the best way you can spend your mental health day.
Continue reading The 12 Best Ways to Spend a Mental Health Day (According to a Therapist)
I can’t lie — I love how good it feels to flake on plans I really didn’t want any part of in the first place. Sweet relief! (But I swear, I really don’t do this often.)
However, I’ll be the first to admit that my plan cancelling is usually the result of something that runs a little deeper than the desire to stay in my PJs and be lazy on the couch. In fact, flakiness — especially sudden-onset flakiness — can sometimes be an indicator of something going on with your mental health.
Continue reading What Flaking on Plans Says About Your Mental Health
Imagine walking down a crowded street. You’re strolling along, minding your own business, when suddenly someone who is texting while walking (a dangerous pastime!) bumps right into you. You know that person bumped into you and not the other way around. You know that it wasn’t your fault and that it was, in fact, their fault.
Do you say sorry?
Continue reading How Does People Pleasing Negatively Affect Your Mental Health?
It doesn’t take long to assemble an impressive list of successful people who also struggle with mental illness. Comedian/actor Jim Carrey experienced clinical depression, Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling also combatted depression, entrepreneur/business mogul/founder of CNN Ted Turner lives with bipolar disorder, accomplished athlete Herschel Walker revealed he has dissociative identity disorder, and Brian Wilson of Beach Boys fame has been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder.
Continue reading Why Successful People Struggle with Mental Illness