When One Person Controls the Relationship

A bird, quite possibly a finch, eats from the hand of a man

It would be nice if every relationship had a straight 50/50 power dynamic split…but those in relationships will tell you that’s probably not the case in their partnership. Relationships should be about a shared, equal bond, where partners are teammates who make compromises and share power, rather than a coach versus team member dynamic. Right?

Continue reading When One Person Controls the Relationship

Chemistry or Consistency: What Makes for a Better Relationship

Color in water

The night of my first date with my ex, I felt strong, instant chemistry. The butterflies in my stomach felt more like large birds, and each kiss felt like 4th of July fireworks. Actually, even just looking at him made me feel fireworks!

We became official, and from there…it went downhill. Why? We were lacking consistency and things that came along with it, like trust. Once I wasn’t so blinded by chemistry, I realized we weren’t compatible and there were aspects of the relationship that were not healthy. When it came down to it, we wanted different things in life. There were parts of him I could not accept and parts of me that he could not accept. Continue reading Chemistry or Consistency: What Makes for a Better Relationship

6 Ways to Deal With People Who Are Distant

Astronaut in space

Some people keep feelings and emotions close to the vest. They aren’t bad people, but it can be frustrating when we’re only treated to occasional glimmers of their sparkling personality. Their slow message response times (leaving you “on read”) and unaccepted invitations make you feel unwanted, or that you’re the only person putting in any effort.

Having a heart-to-heart with a cheerful, friendly person, however, rarely feels like a struggle. But if everyone was cheerful and friendly, we’d already have world peace. Dealing with people who are distant seems to present a bigger challenge. Continue reading 6 Ways to Deal With People Who Are Distant

5 Reasons for Your Commitment Issues

Crying eggs

For many people, marriage and monogamy sound like an ideal state. These lucky people often couple up and ride off into a beautiful sunset…until, of course, life stressors get in the way and interrupt the honeymoon phase.

Other people, however, see commitment in less idealized terms. It is common to say that there is something wrong with people who have “commitment issues,” but that’s reductive and a little simplistic in most cases. In actuality, there are many factors contributing to what we call commitment issues, and they run the gamut from psychological to evolutionary. Continue reading 5 Reasons for Your Commitment Issues

Can You Really Exercise Away Depression and Anxiety?

Woman stretching on exercise ball

On the internet, there are endless lists of the things you can do to heal yourself of any ailment: from depression to migraines, from anxiety to irritable bowel syndrome. Apparently you can cure anything simply chant positive mantras, drink enough water to become a camel, and practice yoga 24/7…maybe even shower while standing on one’s head.

The internet would like us to believe that this is particularly true when it comes to mental illnesses such as anxiety and depression. If I had a dime for every time I’ve heard “just do X to snap out of Y,” I’d be retired, sipping umbrella drinks in Tahiti. Continue reading Can You Really Exercise Away Depression and Anxiety?

Why We Procrastinate (and How to Stop)

Man sleeping with a book on his face

When you’re looking down the barrel of a school midterm report or a major work project, finding inspiration should be easy. You’re on deadline, after all! But the urge to procrastinate strikes us all, and often at the worst times.

Procrastination takes many forms, and leans on avoidant traits that end up harming us in the long run.. Here are the main reasons we procrastinate — and how to stop. Continue reading Why We Procrastinate (and How to Stop)

Is it Ever Okay to Lie?

Pinocchio puppets

At a young age, many of us are taught that telling a lie is absolutely bad. Yet as we grow up, we slowly become exposed to small, “white” lies — those told to keep us from becoming upset or sad. Even as we transition into adulthood, well-meaning lies are often told to shield a person from criticism or added hardship. But can we ever be sure telling a lie is the right thing to do? Continue reading Is it Ever Okay to Lie?

Is it Okay to Hold Grudges?

Angry parakeet

When someone has wronged you in some way, anger is a natural reaction. If what happened is especially painful — or if the person who hurt you is unwilling to take responsibility — you may start to form a grudge against that person.

Many of us hold grudges for a limited time, and are able to let them go after some healthy processing. Others hold onto them for years, and may even have grudges stemming from their childhood. Most of us will only hold grudges against a few select people; others seem to collect grudges readily and with vigor. Continue reading Is it Okay to Hold Grudges?

What Is “Good” Mental Health?

Smiling egg

It’s typically easy to recognize “problematic” mental health — most of the time we know how to recognize anxiety, depression, stress, conflict…the list goes on. When we strive for good mental health, however, it’s a little harder to figure out exactly what that means.

What is good mental health, and how do we know when we’ve got it? Everything you need to know can be found below. Continue reading What Is “Good” Mental Health?