How to Identify an Avoidant Partner and Improve Your Relationship

Author By Dr. Samantha Rodman, Clinical Psychologist
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Couple with tattoos by cinder block wall

Many people feel very anxious in their relationship, because their partner avoids emotional intimacy. Despite how frustrating the avoidant partner may appear, not everything can be blamed on them.

Any relationship comprises a dynamic between two people, and issues within the relationship have to be examined in the context of both partners. To understand avoidance in the context of a relationship, let’s start with a list of avoidant behaviors.

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Ask the Sexuality Expert: The Not So Sexy Parts of Anxiety and Depression

Author By Angela Gunn, Talkspace Therapist
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Banana on pink background

It’s a friday night, you’re getting cozy with your partner and zoning out while surfing the latest feeds on your smartphone. They lean in for a kiss, then a grope; you can sense the next step. Your anxiety skyrockets: heart beating fast and breath becoming more rapid. Repetitive thoughts start spiraling: What do they want from me? Why is work stress popping up now? Will I perform well in bed? What if I can’t keep an erection or climax?

We have so many strategies that allow us to zone out easily during relaxed moments, but when sex or physical affection is presented, our bodies must suddenly engage in the present moment. This presence often brings a flood of thoughts and feelings from the day, or those sparked by sex in general. For someone struggling with anxiety or depression, this flood of negativity prevents us from connecting with our partner and enjoying sex and pleasure in the ways we might like.

Fear not! We have some thoughts and tools to support you in shifting this pattern.

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10 Inspiring Self-Love Quotes from LGBTQ Icons

Author By Reina Gattuso, Contributor
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Stonewall Inn in New York

When trans women of color led the way in the Stonewall Riots of 1969, Pride was born. It was a movement against police harassment and to claim space for a marginalized community. By fighting back, members of New York City’s queer community signaled they would not be pushed into the shadows anymore.

The Stonewall Riots are part of a decades-long campaign for LGBTQ visibility, inspired by the belief that accepting and celebrating ourselves and our community — even when society won’t accept or celebrate us — is a radical act. The courage to come out transformed LGBTQ people’s status in society, and in the face of continued discrimination, it remains a powerful weapon to guard one of our most powerful resources: our mental health.

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6 Ways to Support the Mental Health of Your LGBTQ Loved Ones

Author By Reina Gattuso, Contributor
Posted:
People marching in gay pride parade with rainbow flags

As rainbow streamers fill the air and LGBTQ representation fills the streets, June is a time to celebrate LGBTQ identity and the contributions of the queer movement. Pride is a joyful time for the LGBTQ community and allies alike. It’s also a time to reaffirm our commitment to creating a more equal world. That’s why this Pride, we invite allies and supporters of the LGBTQ community — which should be everyone! — to show up for the mental health and wellbeing of their LGBTQ loved ones and the community at large.

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4 Ways Your Stomach’s Microbiome Might Impact Your Mental Health

Author By Jessica Weinberger, Contributor
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Latex glove with petri dish

Brain chemistry, self-esteem, and personal relationships all play an integral role in your mental health. Now researchers are looking beyond these well-known factors to understand how microbial activity — specifically in your gut — impacts how you feel mentally every day.

The Human Microbiome Project started in 2007 to catalog the micro-organisms living in our body. Since then, researchers have pinpointed two million unique bacterial genes found in each human microbiome.

While there isn’t an direct connection between our stomachs and our brains, the stomach sends messages to the brain, just as the brain sends messages to the rest of the body. If the microbiome is out of balance and the neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine that partially determine how you feel on a daily basis aren’t produced effectively, your mental health could suffer.

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4 Signs Perfectionism Is Holding You Back (And How to Break Free)

Author By Melody Wilding
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A man and a woman whiteboarding

“ 4 Signs Perfectionism Is Holding You Back (And How to Break Free)” originally appeared on Fairy God Boss, an advice blog that makes it easier for you to take care of yourself.

In the business world, there are no gold stars for effort or report cards to gauge your progress.

Yet a common mistake is treating work like school. As CEO and author, Sallie Krawcheck points out:

Let’s not confuse what made us successful in school for what can make us successful in our careers.

While an honor roll mindset can translate into a drive to succeed that lands you deals and accolades, it can easily lead to workaholism and burnout. The industriousness that served you well in school may now be what’s actually hindering your productivity and professional progress.

That’s because when you hold yourself to exacting standards — as many high-achievers do — you can get caught in the trap of perfectionism.

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5 Ways Therapy Can Improve Your Sex Life

Author By Ashley Laderer, Contributor
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Lesbian couple kisses at sunset

If the thought of sharing the nitty gritty details of your sex life with a stranger is enough to kill your libido, well, I don’t blame you. Trust me, I remember how insanely awkward I felt the first time I bought up something sex related to my therapist!

While opening up about such an intimate topic to anyone can be awkward, coming clean about the issues you’re dealing with to a therapist can be super-beneficial to your sex life. After mustering up the courage to bring up the awkward sex talk with your therapist, you can reap big-time benefits. Here are 5 ways therapy can help improve your sex life, as told by 5 people who have experienced it first hand.

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How We View Mental Health Differently Than Our Fathers

Author By Talkspace
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Father with arm around son

Father’s Day is great time to celebrate the similarities that make us family, and differences that make us individuals. As kids, we looked to dad for strength and guidance in the face of life’s adversities. But who looked out for them?

For some fathers, stigma and toxic masculinity may have held them back from healing they desperately needed. In the United States, 6 million men suffer from depression. Men die by suicide over 3.5 times more than women. Yet only one in four seek help from a mental health professional.

The conversation is shifting, however, as mental health has been a highly discussed topic in 2018. The hope is that by addressing generational stigma around mental health, we can encourage men to seek the help they need. We asked our male therapists and coworkers how they view mental health differently than their fathers. Here’s what they had to say.

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MJ’s Story: Working Through Trauma of a Male Sexual Assault

Author By MJ Eckhouse, Contributor
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Trans man standing by grey wall

My boyfriend and I lay in bed, his fingers twirling my chest hair as we talked about our plans for hysterectomies. I told him I saw the procedure as a safeguard against a worst case scenario. Hearing this, he looked so anguished, I nearly felt guilty.

“It makes me sad that you worry about that happening again” he said.

A few years ago, I told my 12-step sponsor about surviving sexual assault. He said we can’t resolve some experiences, we can only share our stories to help others realize they’re not alone. In other words, we can say, “me, too.”

Since getting sober in 2013, I’ve heard stories from several sexual assault survivors and I’ve told my own. Men don’t often discuss sexual assault or mental health, and while it’s not easy to share my story, I believe it’s crucial.

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