What to Do When You Don't Know What to Say to Your Talkspace Therapist

Key Takeaways

• Feeling stuck before messaging your therapist is completely normal, and it doesn't mean therapy isn't working.
• Knowing what to say to your Talkspace therapist gets easier with simple tools: mood check-ins, brief notes, and honest one-liners.
• Talking to a Talkspace therapist through asynchronous messaging gives you time to gather your thoughts before hitting the 'send' button.

You open the app, the message box is waiting, and suddenly you’re not sure what to say to your Talkspace therapist, even if something has been on your mind all week. This blank-page moment is more common than people expect, especially when talking to a Talkspace therapist for the first time.

Many people feel pressure to explain their thoughts clearly or worry about saying the “wrong” thing. Nearly 23.4% of adults in the U.S. live with a mental health condition, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). Yet stigma and uncertainty can make speaking openly about emotions feel difficult.

Many people experience this uncertainty during the first few weeks of therapy, especially when communicating through messages instead of live conversations. But therapy conversations don’t need to be polished or perfectly structured.

In messaging therapy, simple check-ins, short reflections, and honest observations often create the most productive conversations.

Why Do People Freeze Up When Messaging Their Talkspace Therapist?

Many people may bstruggle with what to say to their online therapist because messaging therapy removes facial cues and can create pressure to communicate clearly in writing.

Add the absence of nonverbal cues in text-based messaging, and the pressure to "get it right" in writing or during virtual therapy can feel surprisingly intense. Several factors tend to fuel that freeze:

• Performance anxiety: The belief that messages need to be emotionally polished or profound to make therapy worthwhile.
• Missing nonverbal cues: Without body language or vocal tone, digital communication is harder to calibrate.
• Fear of judgment: Concern that a therapist will read a typed message differently than you intended.
• Format uncertainty: Not knowing how long a message should be, or whether "small" thoughts are worth sharing at all.

A qualitative study in the Patient found that fear of a negative experience, including feeling dismissed or misunderstood, was significant enough to prevent some young people from engaging with digital mental health services at all. This hesitation is real. It's also something a skilled, licensed therapist is prepared to work through with you.

"Starting therapy can feel daunting as clients aren’t exactly sure what to say or how therapy “works.” The amazing thing is once you get started it is so freeing to realize therapy can be a safe space where you do not have to edit your joys, struggles, worries or fears, it is a place where you can authentically share your thoughts and feelings. It can take a little time to get used to the process of opening up and realizing that this is your space to think, reflect, be curious, learn and grow all in a safe way."

-Talkspace therapist, Jill Daino, LCSW-R.

How Can You Break the Ice and Start a Session?

The easiest way to start talking to a Talkspace therapist is with a short, honest check-in. Therapy conversations often begin with simple observations rather than long explanations. Some clients find it easier to open up in writing, as physical distance can create a sense of emotional safety and allow time to reflect before responding.

These ice-breaker prompts can get you moving when words aren't coming:

• "Today I'm feeling ___."
• "Something that happened this week that stayed with me was ___."
• "I've been avoiding thinking about ___, but I think it matters."
• "Since our last session, I noticed ___."

If you'd prefer something even more direct, these copy-paste openers work as a starting point:

• "I'm not sure where to begin today, but I wanted to check in."
• "This week was [hard/quiet/overwhelming], and I'm not totally sure why."

Talkspace's online therapy options support text, voice messages, and video, so if you're still struggling with messaging therapy, trying different formats can sometimes help conversations flow more naturally.

What Should You Share to Keep Therapy Moving Forward?

When you’re wondering what to say to your Talkspace therapist, focus on sharing experiences that help your therapist understand your patterns, goals, and emotional responses. Therapy progresses fastest when you think in categories rather than trying to construct a full narrative from scratch.

"Therapy takes many forms depending on what you are working on and being forthcoming with your therapist about what happens between sessions is invaluable. Telling your therapist what you notice about the goals you have been working on or patterns in behavior along with any mood changes combined with keeping your therapist up to date with day to day events and important interactions will allow the therapy process to unfold and grow as you work on your goals." 

-Talkspace therapist, Jill Daino, LCSW-R.

A study in JMIR Formative Research found that clients who communicated more across digital mediums — in volume and in consistency — showed greater symptom improvement. You don't need long messages. You need regular ones. An agreement on treatment goals and tasks, alongside a strong personal bond, will predict better treatment outcomes.

Here are topics that often help therapy move forward:

Therapists also benefit from hearing about both day-to-day events and deeper behavioral patterns.

Sharing what to say to your Talkspace therapist doesn't have to be deep every time — recovery goals are most achievable when clients and providers actively pursue shared strategies together.

How Do You Raise Sensitive Issues or Give Feedback?

It can feel uncomfortable to bring up difficult topics or give feedback while talking to a Talkspace therapist, but open communication strengthens the therapeutic relationship. An effective strategy is using “I-statements,” which focus on your experience rather than placing blame.

Effective therapeutic relationships are built on trust, empathy, respect, collaboration, and support, and all of that requires both people to communicate honestly. Sending a dedicated message just for feedback, separate from your regular check-in, can make it feel less loaded and easier to say.

Which Tools Can Help You Plan What to Say Between Sessions?

Knowing what to say to your Talkspace therapist before you open the app starts with what you do between sessions.

A meta-analysis in Fam Med Community Health found that journaling is a well-supported, low-cost adjunct intervention for common mental health conditions, including anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). This suggests that writing between sessions isn’t just preparation; it may also support emotional processing.

Mood tracking adds another layer of usable data. Even basic mood monitoring can be associated with decreased depression symptoms, as per a study in Digital Health. Daily check-ins give your therapist something concrete to respond to.

A simple between-session system to try:

• Note one event each day: Something that affected your mood, positively or negatively, no matter how small.
• Label the feeling: One or two words is enough; precision matters less than consistency.
• Add one insight: What you noticed about your reaction, even if you can't yet explain why.

Before each session, scan your notes and choose one to three entries that feel worth discussing. You'll arrive with a clear starting point every time.

How Can You Make the Most of Your Messaging Therapy Experience?

To make messaging therapy effective, members should communicate consistently and use the flexibility of asynchronous conversations to share thoughts as they arise. Messaging formats like asynchronous messaging also allow members to reflect before responding and communicate in real time when something meaningful happens.

Here are a few practices that tend to get more out of every exchange:

• Respond when something comes up: You don't need to wait for a scheduled slot to share something that feels relevant.
• Mix your formats: A voice message can carry an emotional tone that typing sometimes can't.
• Ask questions in your messages: Therapists respond to what you bring, and curiosity is always a good starting point.
• Treat a short message as a valid session: There's no minimum length, and a brief, honest check-in counts.

If the communication style of your current therapist isn't clicking, it may be worth considering whether to switch therapists —  therapeutic fit, not format or platform, is what drives the alliance.

How Can Talkspace Help You Feel More Confident in Therapy Conversations?

Knowing what to say to your Talkspace therapist becomes easier when the platform gives you time and flexibility to communicate. Talkspace’s messaging format allows members to write, pause, and add more thoughts before sending a message. This flexibility helps reduce pressure and makes therapy conversations feel more natural.

Talkspace connects members with licensed therapists, not coaches or unlicensed providers, for individual therapy, couples therapy, and teen therapy. Psychiatric providers are also available in live sessions for further evaluation and prescription of mental health treatment when appropriate.

Members can communicate through text, voice messages, or live video sessions. If the relationship with a therapist doesn’t feel like the right fit, switching therapists is always an option. If you're unsure what to say to your Talkspace therapist, remember that therapy conversations are meant to evolve naturally. The most important step is simply starting the conversation.

Explore online therapy at Talkspace to connect with a licensed therapist and begin therapy at your own pace.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Can my Talkspace therapist start the conversation if I'm silent?

Yes. Many therapists check in if communication slows down or stops for a while. A short reply can restart the conversation and help sessions continue naturally.

Should I message my therapist every day?

Daily messaging isn’t required, but consistency helps therapy progress. Many people send a few updates each week so their therapist can respond and guide the conversation.

What if I regret something I typed?

It’s normal to feel uncertain after sharing something personal in therapy. If you want to clarify what you meant, you can send a follow-up message explaining your thoughts.

How do I know if I'm oversharing?

There isn’t a strict limit to how much you should share in therapy. If you’re unsure, your therapist can help you decide what level of detail supports your goals.

Can I switch therapists if the communication style doesn't fit?

Yes. A strong connection between patient and therapist is important for progress. Switching therapists can help you find someone whose communication style works better for you.

Sources:

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Talkspace articles are written by experienced mental health-wellness contributors; they are grounded in scientific research and evidence-based practices. Articles are extensively reviewed by our team of clinical experts (therapists and psychiatrists of various specialties) to ensure content is accurate and on par with current industry standards.

Our goal at Talkspace is to provide the most up-to-date, valuable, and objective information on mental health-related topics in order to help readers make informed decisions. Articles contain trusted third-party sources that are either directly linked to in the text or listed at the bottom to take readers directly to the source.