When someone has wronged you in some way, anger is a natural reaction. If what happened is especially painful — or if the person who hurt you is unwilling to take responsibility — you may start to form a grudge against that person.
Many of us hold grudges for a limited time, and are able to let them go after some healthy processing. Others hold onto them for years, and may even have grudges stemming from their childhood. Most of us will only hold grudges against a few select people; others seem to collect grudges readily and with vigor. Continue reading Is it Okay to Hold Grudges?
Being the friend or loved one of someone with a mental illness can be emotionally difficult. While you wish to remain open, objective and compassionate, sometimes your reserves of patience become too drained and make it difficult to maintain a reciprocal relationship. You may even begin to feel taken advantage of.
You may feel guilty for being angry at someone who is suffering. But, if you’re wondering if you can feel both compassion and anger at someone suffering from a mental illness, the answer is yes. Here are some steps to help you through these difficult and conflicting feelings.
Continue reading Is It Okay to Be Angry at Someone with a Mental Illness?
I became self-aware of my anger in my early 20s after I was diagnosed as bipolar. Shortly after my diagnosis, I was at a bar with some friends and an ex-boyfriend showed up with his new girlfriend. Some words were said and instead of walking away to cool off, I threw myself at her and wrapped my fingers around her throat. Two bouncers pulled me off and frog-marched me to the door. Even though I clearly had been drinking, I got into my car and sped off to a friend’s house. I crashed on their couch and drove home sober early the following morning.
I marveled later that I was not pulled over for drunk driving and, had I been, how much my life would have changed. I marveled that assault charges were never filed against me. I also marveled at how my anger may have become my new normal.
It was a wake-up call. Something had to change, but the actual change wouldn’t come until much later. Continue reading When Anger and Emotions Run Your Life