Losing a Patient: Navigating Grief & Finding Resilience

Published on: 22 Oct 2024
Clinically Reviewed by Famous Erwin, LMHC, LPC
Losing a Patient

Losing a patient is one of the most difficult and profound aspects of any healthcare professional’s job. Whether you’re a nurse, doctor, therapist, CNA, or hospice care worker, the grief you experience after a patient’s death can be deeply personal…and excruciatingly painful. 

Research shows that it’s common for providers to experience “moderate” or “long-term” grief after the death of a patient. Some studies suggest that the lingering weight can impact a provider’s sense of well-being. After all, death is a reminder of the fragility of life and that there are limitations to even the best patient care, especially when dealing with a terminally ill patient.

Recovering from the loss of a deceased patient is not just about saying goodbye — it’s learning to reconcile the emotional toll your job takes on your mental health. If you find yourself confronting loss repeatedly, learning to address your grief openly and in a healthy way is crucial for your well-being and for building resilience in your role as a healthcare provider.

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The Emotional Toll of Losing a Patient

For many people who work in healthcare, the death of a patient is often much more than a professional setback. It’s an emotional rollercoaster that makes a significant impact. While loss is inevitable in this line of work, it never becomes easy. It’s normal to have feelings of grief, sadness, guilt, or helplessness after losing a patient, particularly in difficult situations where a patient is dying despite all your best efforts.  These intense emotions may even lead to depression for nurses and doctors, especially when they struggle to process their grief in a healthy way. 

It’s crucial to remember that your emotions are valid, though. There’s no timeline for grief, and there are no rules about when or how you’ll be ready to move forward. That said, understanding how a loss affects you is the first step toward healing and managing emotional exhaustion.

“Even with the most abundant training on loss and boundaries, therapists at the end of the day, are every bit human. So, it’s important to navigate and process with professional support or supervision, if at any point it becomes difficult to carry on your own. Get help if your sadness is disproportionate or prolonged.”

Talkspace therapist Elizabeth Keohan, LCSW-C

How to Cope with Losing Patients in Your Job

The loss of a patient is never simple, but some strategies can help you cope with and manage the emotions. Incorporating these coping mechanisms into your routine will help you navigate the emotional toll you’re experiencing so you can continue to provide compassionate care to other patients.

Talk to a therapist

Reaching out for professional help and support can be crucial as you process a loss. A licensed therapist provides a safe space for you to explore your feelings. They’ll be able to offer you coping strategies and help you navigate your grief.

Lean on your support network 

Don’t hesitate to ask for support after a patient passes away. Lean on colleagues who understand the unique aspects of your line of work or reach out to friends and family who can show you compassion. Sharing your experience with others can help alleviate feelings of isolation, and you’ll likely find strength in the connections.

Find ways to honor your patients

Many healthcare professionals find that creating a personal ritual is beneficial. Honoring a deceased patient can bring a sense of closure and peace — it may be as simple as lighting a candle or writing a reflection. If you’re close with the family, you might consider participating in a memorial service if they hold one. 

Practice self-care

Your job requires tremendous strength and energy for your patients, but you must also find ways to take care of yourself. Self-care for nurses can include regularly working out, eating healthy, getting enough sleep, or practicing mindfulness. Maintaining physical and mental well-being can make coping with the emotional demands of loss a little bit easier.

Set boundaries 

Learning to recognize your limits and set boundaries is critical to protecting your mental health, especially after a patient passes away. If you need to take time off, do so. Try not to bring work home and learn to say no to additional responsibilities when you’re feeling emotionally drained or approaching nurse burnout.

Participate in peer support groups

Joining a peer support group of fellow healthcare professionals can give you a sense of community and understanding. Sharing stories and hearing each other’s experiences will normalize your feelings after loss, and you’ll likely gain valuable coping strategies from one another.

Remember the positive impact you have on your patients

Remind yourself of the positive impact you have on the lives of the patients you help. Especially in their final moments, the care and compassion you show can be comforting — let that reinforce the value you place on your role as a caregiver.

Use reflective practices

Take time to reflect on what you’ve gone through. You can try journaling for your mental health or using guided reflection to process your emotions and gain valuable insights into why you’re having the reaction you’re having. Reflective practices can help you identify patterns in your emotional responses so you can develop effective, targeted coping mechanisms.

Maintaining Professional Boundaries & Continuity of Care

It’s always important for healthcare professionals to maintain boundaries, but doing so while ensuring continuity of care can be a delicate balance. 

You’re tasked with forming meaningful connections with your patients — which can make their eventual loss even more challenging. Learning to navigate your feelings while upholding your role as a professional is easier when you have effective strategies in place. 

  • Learn to separate personal and professional emotions: Although developing attachments to patients is natural, it’s vital to differentiate between personal feelings and professional responsibilities.
  • Focus on the task at hand: After any loss, it can be difficult to shift your focus back to other patients, but concentrating on their needs might help you stay grounded and provide continuity of care.
  • Delegate tasks when necessary: If your emotions interfere with your ability to care for other patients, it’s OK to delegate tasks and ask for help.
  • Practice emotional detachment techniques: Learn techniques, like mindfulness or compartmentalization, to help you manage your emotions so you can maintain a professional demeanor yet still acknowledge your feelings in healthy ways.
  • Maintain perspective: Perspective will be crucial as you heal from the loss of a patient. Focusing on the broader impact of your work will help you stay focused and prevent burnout.
  • Seek support from peers: Don’t be afraid to talk to colleagues who understand what the death of a patient feels like. They can relate to the complexity of what you’re going through, give you insight, and offer reassurance.
  • Reflect on how you handle patient relationships: Reflecting on your relationships and the emotions you experience after loss will help you adjust your approach in the future if needed.

Navigate These Complex Emotions with Support

Addressing grief after losing a patient is crucial for moving on. It’s essential for your mental and emotional well-being and your ability to do your job. The toll of loss can accumulate over time, so it’s even more critical to recognize when you need support. Taking proactive steps to manage your emotions can make a significant difference in how you heal, whether you talk to a therapist, lean on your support network, or find ways to honor your patients, 

The first step might be seeking therapy. Online therapy can be a convenient and accessible way to get help. Professional mental health providers at Talkspace can guide you in navigating your emotions so you can continue your vital work without sacrificing your own well-being.

If you’re struggling with the impact of the loss of a patient, consider seeking online therapy with Talkspace today.  

Sources:

  1. Morrison W. Coming together to grieve when a patient dies. AAMC. Published November 15, 2023. https://www.aamc.org/news/coming-together-grieve-when-patient-dies. Accessed August 13, 2024. 
  2. Yazdan R, Corey K, Messer SJ, et al. Hospital-Based Interventions to Address Provider Grief: A Narrative review. Journal of Pain and Symptom Management. 2023;66(1):e85-e107. doi:10.1016/j.jpainsymman.2023.03.001. https://www.jpsmjournal.com/article/S0885-3924(23)00401-3/abstract. Accessed August 13, 2024. 

Talkspace articles are written by experienced mental health-wellness contributors; they are grounded in scientific research and evidence-based practices. Articles are extensively reviewed by our team of clinical experts (therapists and psychiatrists of various specialties) to ensure content is accurate and on par with current industry standards.

Our goal at Talkspace is to provide the most up-to-date, valuable, and objective information on mental health-related topics in order to help readers make informed decisions.

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