Some responsibilities – whether they are personal, social, or professional – shouldn’t be put on the back burner when we’re tired. And that includes therapy.
– by Anonymous Talkspace User
Things have been really hectic over the last month. For one, it’s birthday season. I find myself running around the city, attending different parties and buying amusing gifts for many of my friends and family. But even though I’m happy to be there for the people in my life, certain aspects of this time are a little difficult to deal with. For example, I occasionally end up having to make inevitable small talk with strangers in dark clubs filled with drunken college students and blasting music. I find it very tiring.
It’s also event season. Because of my career, I am actively attending networking events, launch parties, sponsored galas, and different types of conferences. This means engaging in even more small talk with strangers about the weather and the latest season of Game of Thrones – though I actually like this part. So, when summer comes around, I don’t get much time to take it easy; it’s been awhile since I could enjoy reading a book and drinking a refreshing beverage in a park somewhere.
I’ve previously written about how difficult it is to practice an economy of emotions with my career. Putting myself into someone else’s shoes is taxing, but important for what I do. And just because I may become tired from time to time, it doesn’t mean I can take time off from work and resume once I feel recharged and collected. But I also can’t keep pushing myself when I feel that I have reached my mental and physical limit. So, my therapist and I have the unique challenge of balancing my responsibilities with my natural reaction to overstimulation.
I believe that I am a mix of type A and type B personalities. What that essentially means is that I can often display traits typical of high strung (type A) people, but I am also, for the most part, pretty laid back (type B). Furthermore, I am fairly sure that I embody an even serving of extraverted and introverted characteristics that make me social and outgoing, but also prone to being tired, quiet, and reserved. I guess in some way you can think of me as a walking conundrum.
However, if I don’t have time to sufficiently relax and reenergize, I will eventually become physically wound up, emotionally drained, and cognitively tired. I believe this condition is referred to as high sensitivity, but I haven’t confirmed that with my therapist. All of the overstimulation of socializing eventually leads to me being moody, irritable, and prone to sleeplessness, which is particularly distressing since getting in some down time would alleviate many of these side effects.
When I’m already that tired, putting my last bit of energy into therapy is the last thing on my mind; at times, it can be a taxing process, and a less than an appealing one in that condition. So, to compensate, I have decided to keep a daily journal of my activities (1-2 paragraphs max). I hope this will help me understand how I can better manage my time so as to have enough energy for work, play, and therapy.
I simply don’t have the time to be this tired.
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