How to Heal from Childhood Sexual Abuse

Published on: 17 Jan 2025
Clinically Reviewed by Reshawna Chapple, PhD, LCSW
How to Heal From Childhood Sexual Abuse

Healing from childhood sexual abuse is a profound personal journey. The pain abuse causes ripples through every aspect of an adult survivor’s life. From challenging relationships to a damaged sense of self-worth to mental health concerns like anxiety, PTSD, and depression, the repercussions of abuse are severe. In many cases, this trauma continues to affect a person throughout adulthood, influencing their emotional, social, and psychological well-being. Understanding the impact of childhood trauma in adults is crucial for effective healing.

Deciding to heal from childhood sexual abuse​​​ is courageous. It’s an act of hope and self-preservation, and while it’s not linear and won’t be easy, it is possible to find joy and peace again.

To reclaim your life after being sexually abused, you need the right tools and support. Read on to explore trauma-informed practices that are designed to help you heal. From practicing self-compassion to seeking help from a professional, you have a path forward to address this type of trauma

Acknowledge the Pain & Courage to Heal

The first step in learning how to heal from childhood sexual abuse is admitting the pain it caused you. It takes tremendous courage to start a journey like this, and validating your experience is an essential part of it. 

It’s not unusual for childhood sexual abuse survivor​s to feel overwhelmed. Many carry deep feelings of shame or guilt that make it difficult to process and deal with trauma. It can be challenging, but dealing with your emotions will empower you. Recognizing your pain and allowing yourself to feel it is the first step in reclaiming your life. 

Seek Professional Help

Working with a therapist or other mental health professional can become your lifeline. Look for someone trained in trauma therapy who can offer a safe, supportive environment. The right therapist will ensure you’re comfortable exploring your feelings so you can develop coping strategies.

There are countless therapeutic approaches, but two stand out for their efficacy in dealing with sexual trauma like childhood sexual abuse.

  • Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR): EMDR is an evidence-based therapy that helps you reprocess traumatic memories to effectively reduce the emotional charge you experience. Research shows that EMDR is highly effective in treating post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which is common in adult survivors of childhood abuse.
  • Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT is a widely-used therapy that focuses on identifying negative thought and behavior patterns so you can reframe them. Research shows that CBT can reduce many of the symptoms resulting from childhood sexual trauma, including PTSD, depression, dissociation, dysfunctional sexual behavior, and more. 

“Trauma-focused therapy was developed to bring an extra layer of compassion and understanding to the patterns of behavior that come from experiencing traumatic events. This therapy can expose how a person continues to express guilt and shame outside of their conscious awareness. By bringing these thoughts and behaviors to the forefront, new patterns can be embraced with compassion for self.”

Talkspace therapist Dr Karmen Smith LCSW DD

Connect with Support Groups or Trusted Individuals

Many childhood sexual abuse survivor​s find strength and healing in sharing their experiences with others who relate to them. Support groups offer a unique sense of community, allowing individuals to share their stories, receive validation, and find understanding from people who truly relate. This connection can be incredibly comforting, helping to break the isolation that often follows sexual trauma. Studies have shown that social support plays a crucial role in coping with unresolved trauma. 

If joining a formal support group feels intimidating or uncomfortable, you don’t have to take that step right away. Reaching out to a trusted friend or family member for emotional support is a great alternative. Even just having someone who listens without judgment can be a valuable source of comfort and strength as you navigate your healing journey.

“Childhood sexual abuse can carry shame, which restricts the ability to talk about it. Trusting someone enough to share what they feel guilty about is a major step. There is a famous quote, “We are as sick as our secrets,” which may have some validity. When we hide our pain due to shame or guilt, it hinders our ability to love ourselves fully and, in turn, blocks us from deep connections.”

Talkspace therapist Dr Karmen Smith LCSW DD

Journal Your Feelings and Experiences

Journaling is a powerful therapeutic practice that allows you to explore and navigate your emotions privately. By putting pen to paper, you can untangle complex feelings and gain clarity about past experiences. It’s not just a tool for self-reflection—it’s also a practical way to track your personal growth, identify emotional triggers, and manage stress and anxiety. 

In fact, research has shown that regular journal writing is linked to improved mental health and a greater sense of well-being. Whether you’re looking to understand your emotions more deeply or simply find a sense of calm, journaling offers a valuable space to focus your mind and nurture your mental well-being.

Practice Self-Compassion

Survivors of childhood sexual abuse often carry the heavy burdens of self-blame, shame, and guilt. These feelings can be deeply ingrained, but consciously practicing self-compassion can help begin the healing process. It allows you to challenge the negative self-talk shaped by your past and start reframing the way you view yourself.

Self-compassion is about acknowledging your pain without judgment. It’s a reminder that your experiences, no matter how painful, do not define your worth. If it feels hard, try to imagine offering yourself the same kindness and understanding you would give a close friend going through something similar.

Explore Mind-Body Practices for Trauma Recovery

Mind-body practices like grounding techniques, meditation, yoga, and deep breathing for anxiety are powerful ways to reconnect with yourself. These practices are not only calming but have been scientifically proven to reduce intrusive traumatic memories and help break the cycle of avoidance that often accompanies past trauma. By focusing on the present moment, they encourage you to ground yourself in the here and now, which can significantly alleviate anxiety and depression related to past experiences.

Establish Healthy Boundaries

Setting and enforcing boundaries is a vital step in your healing journey. Boundaries help you create a sense of control and safety, especially in your relationships, and are essential for fostering healthier connections in the future. Establishing clear boundaries empowers you to protect your well-being and prioritize your needs.

To create healthy boundaries, you first should identify what you need—whether physical space, emotional protection, or time for self-care—and communicate those needs firmly and assertively.

Examples of healthy boundaries include:

  • Limiting contact with someone who triggers negative feelings
  • Defining designated times for self-care
  • Refusing physical touch that feels uncomfortable
  • Saying “no” to situations, places, people, or conversations that feel unsafe
  • Avoiding social events that are overwhelming
  • Deciding what part of your story you’re comfortable sharing with others (this can differ from person to person)
  • Taking the time you need to fully process your emotions so you can heal on your own timeline

Develop a Self-Care Routine

Self-care is a fundamental aspect of the healing process, providing a way to nourish both your mind and body. By making time for yourself, even through small acts of care, you can find moments of peace and joy that help balance the emotional and physical toll of past trauma. Whether it’s reading a book, spending time in nature, or rediscovering a hobby you love, these simple practices can offer a sense of comfort and well-being.

Research shows that self-care doesn’t just bring temporary relief—it can lead to lasting positive outcomes such as increased empowerment, improved relationships, and even post-traumatic growth. By prioritizing your own needs and well-being, you pave the way for healing and personal transformation, helping you build a stronger foundation for the future.

Allow Yourself to Grieve

Giving yourself time to grieve and heal from childhood sexual abuse is a necessary part of your recovery. Grief is a natural result of a traumatic experience. You might feel a range of emotions — including rage, sadness, anger, and fear — as you grieve the loss of trust, safety, or innocence caused by childhood abuse.

You need to let yourself feel these things without judgment so you can eventually create space for acceptance, which will help you move forward.

Consider Gradual Forgiveness (If and When Ready)

Forgiveness is a deeply personal decision that — if given — can bring peace to your life. It’s never about excusing the actions of your abuser. Some people find that forgiveness brings them closure and allows them to release any hold the abuse had on their lives. 

Whether or not you decide to forgive your abuser is entirely up to you. There is no right or wrong way to forgive. That said, if you do decide to forgive, it’s important to approach the process at your own pace.

Envision a Future Beyond the Trauma

The journey of healing from childhood sexual abuse can be long and overwhelming at times. Envisioning a future where you’ve worked through the trauma can help. Imagine your life filled with self-acceptance, growth, and peace. Take small but intentional steps toward your vision. You might pursue a dream, develop meaningful and deep, intimate relationships, or find joy in little moments throughout your days. Healing isn’t about forgetting your past. It’s about creating a rewarding and fulfilling future where your past doesn’t define you.

If you’re ready, therapy can be a vital resource when healing from sexual trauma — and online therapy can help. Healing from childhood sexual abuse is a gradual process, and it takes courage — but with the right tools, support, and self-compassion, it is possible to reclaim your future.

Sources:

  1. Moreno-Alcázar A, Treen D, Valiente-Gómez A, et al. Efficacy of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing in Children and Adolescent with Post-traumatic Stress Disorder: A Meta-Analysis of Randomized Controlled Trials. Frontiers in Psychology. 2017;8. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01750. https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01750/full. Accessed November 18, 2024.
  2. Resick PA, Nishith P, Griffin MG. How well does Cognitive-Behavioral therapy treat symptoms of complex PTSD? An examination of child sexual abuse survivors within a clinical trial. CNS Spectrums. 2003;8(5):340-355. doi:10.1017/s1092852900018605. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2970926/ . Accessed November 18, 2024.
  3. Calhoun CD, Stone KJ, Cobb AR, Patterson MW, Danielson CK, Bendezú JJ. The Role of Social Support in Coping with Psychological Trauma: An Integrated Biopsychosocial Model for Posttraumatic Stress Recovery. Psychiatric Quarterly. 2022;93(4):949-970. doi:10.1007/s11126-022-10003-w. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11126-022-10003-w. Accessed November 18, 2024.
  4. Smyth JM, Johnson JA, Auer BJ, Lehman E, Talamo G, Sciamanna CN. Online Positive Affect Journaling in the Improvement of Mental Distress and Well-Being in General medical patients with Elevated Anxiety Symptoms: a preliminary randomized controlled trial. JMIR Mental Health. 2018;5(4):e11290. doi:10.2196/11290. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6305886/. Accessed November 18, 2024.
  5. Kim SH, Schneider SM, Kravitz L, Mermier C, Burge MR. Mind-body practices for posttraumatic stress disorder. June 1, 2013. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3668544/. Accessed November 18, 2024.
  6. Crivatu IM, Horvath M a. H, Massey K. The Impacts of working with Victims of Sexual Violence: A Rapid Evidence assessment. Trauma Violence & Abuse. 2021;24(1):56-71. doi:10.1177/15248380211016024. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9660261/. Accessed November 18, 2024.
  7. RAINN | The nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization. https://rainn.org/. Accessed November 18, 2024.

Talkspace articles are written by experienced mental health-wellness contributors; they are grounded in scientific research and evidence-based practices. Articles are extensively reviewed by our team of clinical experts (therapists and psychiatrists of various specialties) to ensure content is accurate and on par with current industry standards.

Our goal at Talkspace is to provide the most up-to-date, valuable, and objective information on mental health-related topics in order to help readers make informed decisions.

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