Sometimes it can feel like your relationship is fraying, and there's no way to weave it back together. Every couple faces challenges, and when communication starts to break down, therapy can be a powerful way to reconnect.
Couples therapy can address a range of relationship problems, including communication difficulties, emotional distance, trust issues, and major life transitions. So, what is the best type of couples therapy or marriage counseling? Understanding the different therapy types can help couples choose the best fit for their unique situation.
1. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
If you and your partner are struggling with disconnection, emotionally focused therapy (EFT) might be an excellent choice. The core idea is that conflict in a relationship stems from insecurities and disconnection, which lead to a fear of being unheard, unimportant, or abandoned.
Research shows that EFT can improve marital satisfaction that lasts for years after the therapy sessions end. During EFT sessions, a therapist will help guide you both through recognizing your emotional needs, communicating those needs to each other, and re-forming the vibrant connections that brought you together in the first place. You’re able to learn your partner’s vulnerabilities (as they learn yours too), and treat them as a challenge that you can face together.
EFT helps you and your partner learn how to rebuild trust in your relationship, creating attachment and emotional bonds while freeing you both from the patterns that foster disconnection and discontent.
2. The Gottman Method
Miscommunication is one of the most common issues in relationships. If you struggle to communicate with your partner, it doesn’t mean your relationship is beyond repair. Sometimes, it helps to work on strengthening this foundation to build a healthy partnership. The Gottman method helps build this foundation.
The idea of this method is that couples need 5 times more positive interactions with each other than negative interactions to build a successful partnership. The focus of therapy sessions is building these positive interactions using the 9 components of a healthy relationship:
- Building love maps: Get to know your partner’s inner world, including their hopes, fears, and stressors.
- Nurturing fondness and admiration: Increase positive interactions by expressing appreciation and respect for your partner.
- Turning toward instead of away: Recognize and respond to your partner’s everyday requests for attention and interaction.
- Embracing a positive perspective: Adopt a mindset that enables you to approach problems and challenges with a positive attitude.
- Managing conflict effectively: Learn to navigate disagreements and avoid escalation.
- Honoring their life dreams: Create a supportive environment where each partner feels safe to share their aspirations and values.
- Creating shared meaning: Build a sense of purpose together through shared traditions and goals.
- Building trust: Act in ways that show your partner they can rely on you.
- Committing to commitment: Make a conscious choice to invest in a lasting, shared future together.
3. Imago Relationship Therapy
If you and your partner are struggling with historical wounds, past misunderstandings, and finding common ground amid these challenges, Imago relationship therapy might be a style worth pursuing. Research shows that Imago relationship therapy significantly improves couples' marital satisfaction.
This type of couples therapy focuses on the idea that everyone develops a “love identity” based on how they are treated and experience love during childhood. Because of this, the therapy style focuses on understanding and unpacking how negative experiences and feelings from childhood can carry into adult relationships and cause strain between couples.
By understanding how past experiences shape current actions, emotions, and interactions, Imago relationship therapy helps partners become more understanding and empathetic towards each other, and stop criticizing and blaming.
4. Narrative Therapy
Sometimes we all can get stuck in blame cycles by telling unhelpful and untrue narratives about ourselves or our partners. Narrative therapy helps guide couples to rewrite these damaging narratives.
During therapy sessions, couples are guided through identifying the stories they tell themselves, and a therapist helps them identify ways to reshape these stories. Four key features of narrative therapy benefit couples:
- Externalizing conversations: Narrative therapy separates the problem from the people, allowing couples to view issues as a common challenge to address together.
- Re-authoring your shared story: Couples uncover and appreciate overlooked moments of strength, connection, and success in their relationship.
- Uncovering unique outcomes: Couples actively seek out alternative outcomes for negative stories and prove that there are healthy outcomes they can reach.
- Deconstructing problematic narratives: A therapist helps you break down the overwhelming array of problems you are facing into manageable problems that can be addressed individually.
Scientists have found that narrative therapy significantly improves couples’ cooperation, reduces conflicts, and improves sexual intimacy, so it may be worth a try.
5. Solution-Focused Therapy
If you and your partner are looking for a solution-based approach, then solution-focused therapy might be a great choice. This therapy type can help couples get unstuck quickly by shifting the energy from dissecting what's wrong in the relationship to offering simple, yet powerful solutions.
Instead of dwelling on the past and searching for the “why” of things going wrong, a therapist will help couples paint a detailed picture of what they want in their preferred future together. This technique incorporates positive psychology principles that help couples get straight to solutions. The process typically involves identifying times when a couple successfully coped with or addressed a problem, and repurposing the coping skills they learned to address similar issues in their relationship.
Solution-focused therapy is a newer therapy style, but research is already showing that it's effective and quick, resulting in significant improvements in overall mental health and progress toward goals. With this proven technique, you and your partner will be able to focus on actions that build the future you want together.
“In any kind of therapy, there is no one-size-fits-all so it’s important to really consider the needs and one’s own personal temperament when it comes to choosing the right approach. The challenges begin with determining how each partner feels about the approaches, and their feelings about the therapist. If even one partner is uncomfortable with the therapist, it will make it hard for progress to be made. In this respect, the first clear communication would be about how each partner feels about the therapist. Therapist shopping is important.”
- Talkspace therapist, Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC.
6. Integrative Behavioral Couples Therapy
Integrative couples therapy is a relatively new therapeutic approach for couples. It's excellent for fostering acceptance and developing the skills needed to promote it. The goal of this couples therapy technique is to enhance communication and foster secure emotional connections that help partners develop an appreciation for their differences.
Studies have shown that this type of therapy is particularly good at:
- Improving effective communication: Partners learn to replace destructive patterns with constructive dialogue.
- Reducing conflict: Partners learn effective tools to de-escalate arguments and break negative cycles that cause them.
- Showing long-term benefits: By focusing on skill-building, this type of therapy leads couples to develop resilience to navigate future challenges independently.
Integrative behavioral couples therapy is effective because it combines ideas from cognitive behavioral therapy (which encourages the reinforcement of positive patterns in relationships) with attachment theory (which emphasizes the importance of emotional connection and intimacy in relationships). These features, combined with mindfulness, acceptance, and compassion, enable therapists to guide couples through a holistic approach that has immediate and long-lasting effects on their relationship success.
How To Choose the Best Type of Couples Therapy
If you and your partner are seeking out couples therapy, there are several questions that you can ask yourself to get started on the right track:
Solidify your goals for couples therapy
First, clarify your goals as a couple:
- Are you looking to improve communication, rebuild trust, resolve a specific conflict, or strengthen your emotional connection?
- What are the primary issues we want to work on together (communication, trust, conflict, intimacy, life transitions, etc.)?
- Do we want tools and skills to use right away, or a deeper exploration of our patterns over time?
Determine your preferred structure
After you decide what kind of relationship advice or guidance you’ll need, consider your comfort level with different styles of therapy. Some approaches are structured and skill-based, while others are emotionally deep or exploratory. Ask yourselves:
- Do we want structured sessions with homework and measurable progress?
- Do we prefer an open-ended conversation to explore our feelings and history?
- Are we comfortable with the therapist being active and directive, or do we prefer a collaborative approach?
Consider any necessary specializations
Trust your instincts when deciding which therapeutic relationship is right for you and your partner. Therapy works best when it’s tailored to your needs, so ask yourselves:
- Is there betrayal, trauma, abuse, or broken trust that needs specialized care?
- Do we need a therapist experienced with LGBTQIA+ relationship advice, blended families, or religious/cultural dynamics?
- Do we want a therapist who shares or deeply understands aspects of our identities?
“All the techniques and skills to improve a relationship are moot if both partners aren’t committed to the process of therapy. Change is hard, and for some, too late. The most successful therapeutic relationships have been honesty and open communications of where both partners are and what expectations they have within the therapeutic process.”
- Talkspace therapist, Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC.
Best Couples Therapy Platforms
Starting couples therapy is a meaningful step, and choosing a platform that feels right can help set you up for success. Whether you’re looking for relationship-only counseling, flexible hybrid care, or the most budget-friendly option, the comparison below summarizes the best couples therapy platforms and what they offer so you can make a confident, informed decision.
Find the Best Couples Therapist With Talkspace
Seeking couples therapy doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed. It’s a sign that you care about strengthening your bond. Once you’ve uncovered the best type of marriage counseling or couples therapy for you and your partner, Talkspace is here for the next steps. Explore flexible, affordable online couples therapy to help you and your partner work through conflict, manage life transitions, and build a healthier bond with the guidance of a licensed therapist.
Sources:
- Beasley CC, Ager R. Emotionally focused couples therapy: a systematic review of its effectiveness over the past 19 years. J Evid Based Soc Work. 2019;16(2):144-159. doi:10.1080/23761407.2018.1563013. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/23761407.2018.1563013
- Gehlert, Nathan C. Randomized controlled trial of imago relationship therapy: exploring statistical and clinical significance. Faculty Bibliography. 2017;12. https://collected.jcu.edu/fac_bib_2017/12
- Hamidi P, Bahari S, Mostafavi S A, Shamohammadi M. The efficacy of the narrative therapy approach in reducing couples’ conflicts through couples therapy. Thrita J Neu. 2016;5(3):e59672. doi:10.5812/thritaj.36606. https://brieflands.com/journals/thrita/articles/59672
- Żak AM, Pękala K. Effectiveness of solution-focused brief therapy: An umbrella review of systematic reviews and meta-analyses. Psychother Res. 2025;35(7):1043-1055. doi:10.1080/10503307.2024.2406540. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10503307.2024.2406540
- Barraca J, Nieto E, Polanski T. An integrative behavioral couple therapy (IBCT)-based conflict prevention program: a pre-pilot study with non-clinical couples. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2021;18(19):9981. doi:10.3390/ijerph18199981. https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/18/19/9981
