Every January, the urge to make New Year’s resolutions is strong. Even if we’ve failed to make good on past resolutions—to exercise more, spend less, read more, scroll less, or break an unhelpful habit—hope springs eternal at the start of each new year. Or you could be the person who resists setting any sort of New Year intentions at all, having learned that they don’t stick.
Talkspace therapists want you to know that 2026 absolutely can be the year you change your life in whatever ways you want to, but it’s not as simple as writing down a resolution and trying to “willpower” your way to transformation. Here they’re sharing guidance on how to stop waiting and start living the life you dream of.
Change takes time, so don’t wait to get started
Before you can stop waiting and start changing, you need to make peace with the fundamental fact that change takes time, and patience.
“Our neural pathways are designed to follow routines that make sense and feel good to us,” says Talkspace therapist Elizabeth Keohan, LCSW-C. “You can't simply override years of established patterns with sheer determination. Expecting instant transformation sets you up for frustration.”
The fact that it won’t be easy is not an excuse for not getting started. If you’ve been openly asking for or secretly dreaming of a different life, you need to own up to your desires and make a plan to achieve them—and don’t procrastinate. “There is no perfect time to make change, there is only the present moment,” says Talkspace therapist Bisma Anwar, LPC, LMHC.
Get clear on what you want
If you’ve made resolutions in the past and failed to achieve them, it could be that you don’t truly want to achieve those goals (you just think you should), or it may be that you do truly desire those changes but on some level are scared of them. So getting clear on what you want, and why you want it, is a vital first step to making changes.
“Sometimes it's difficult to know what you truly want or desire because we are surrounded by so many people and influences that tell us what we should want. To understand what you truly want it is important to ask yourself what your true motivations are,” says Talkspace therapist Reshawna Chapple, PhD, LCSW. “Ask yourself, if you were to achieve this goal would you be happy or would you immediately reach towards another? Is this goal for you or for someone else in your life? This may seem like a simple question, but often we feel that we must please others even at the detriment of ourselves.”
Change that comes from external pressure rarely sticks, so to make sure your desire for change is genuine, identify your “why.” How will your life be different when you make this change or achieve this goal? How will that feel? Write the answers down in a journal entry that you can revisit throughout the year, to motivate you to keep making progress.
Understand the obstacles
Even if you sincerely want change, that doesn’t mean it will be easy. There are probably some internal and external obstacles in your way (otherwise it would be done already). “Be realistic about the obstacles, and whether they are real or in your head. Sometimes it's the expectations of others, sometimes it is fear of failing, sometimes it is not wanting to disappoint people in your life,” says Chapple. “Once you consider what you want versus what you believe you cannot have then you have to start asking yourself the tough questions. Is it more important to have what you want or to give in to fear of failure or of disappointing others?”
Of course you may face very real, external headwinds to change—like time, money, and family obligations. Identify those challenges and make a plan for addressing them or working within those constraints. Even if it takes longer than you’d like to change your life, it is possible if you’re intentional and focused on what’s at stake.
Create a plan based on bite-sized steps
Once you've done the inner work of clarifying what you want and why, create a plan made up of do-able small steps. A big goal, like “get in shape” or “run a half marathon” can feel overwhelming, which triggers avoidance, but any big goal is achieved through a series of smaller steps, so focus on those instead. To get in shape, start with "take a 20-minute walk today” or if you want to run a half-marathon, start with “run a mile today.” These smaller steps will help you form new habits and demonstrate to your brain that change is possible. “When you break down goals into smaller objectives you can accumulate small wins that propel you forward,” says Keohan.
Ground yourself in the present
When you’re trying to make changes and feeling stuck, it’s tempting to slip into regret about the past ("I should have started this years ago") or anxiety about the future ("What if I fail?"), but both thought patterns can get in the way of achieving your goal. When you’re having these thoughts, practice bringing your attention back to this moment. Grounding techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or simply noticing your surroundings can help quiet the mental chatter that keeps you stuck.
Make “progress, not perfection” the goal
Research suggests it takes anywhere from 18 to 254 days to form a new habit, with an average of 66 days. And as you try to change your life you’ll face obstacles, setbacks, and moments when you disappoint yourself. If you get stuck or backslide, what matters is that you pick yourself up and persist. When you stumble or feel stuck, ask yourself: "What's one small thing I can do today to get back on track?" Then do that thing.
Our brains all possess a very cool ability called “neuroplasticity,” which is the ability to form new neural pathways in response to repeated behavior. In more basic terms: By repeating an action you can make it a habit at a neurological level, but this doesn’t happen overnight. “Our avoidance pathways are stubborn and want what’s comfortable versus what’s unfamiliar, which leads to procrastination,” says Keohan. “So we have to give our brains a chance to re-establish a new way. It works, but it takes time!”
Make this the year you actually do it
“Clarity is achieved through taking action, not waiting. Take small steps that build momentum and help you work towards your goals,” says Anwar. So don't wait for perfect conditions, or to feel completely ready. You just need to identify what you truly desire, get started, stumble, and keep going.
However you want to change your life, whether in momentous ways or by tweaking it at the edges, a therapist can help you identify your way, understand what’s been holding you back, create a plan to move forward, and stay accountable.
