Why other people are crucial to your mental health

When you think of taking care of your mental health, a menu of individual activities probably comes to mind, like meditation, journaling, exercise, and sleep. But according to Talkspace therapists, some of the most important mental self-care requires more than just yourself. 

“Human beings are wired for social connection. Biologically, our brains register safety when we're part of a group—and prolonged isolation keeps the nervous system in a state of low-grade stress that can quietly fuel anxiety and exhaustion,” - Reshawna Chapple, PhD, LCSW, Talkspace therapist.

Relationships and community give us a sense of belonging, a buffer when life gets hard, and a mirror that reflects our own worth back to us. Without it, resilience erodes. With it, we're better equipped to handle almost anything. Talkspace therapists share some advice on strengthening your current relationships and forming new ones.

Small moves help you connect more deeply

You don't have to overhaul your social life to feel more connected. Small, consistent actions can help you strengthen your existing relationships, big and small, and are often more powerful than grand gestures. A few pointers:

• Go deeper than small talk—sharing something real about your life builds trust and connections more than keeping things surface-level. 
• Pay attention when the people in your life reach out, even with something small like a funny meme or a casual check-in. Always respond with intention, and make sure you initiate reaching out too. 
• When you’re in-person with others, put your phone away and give them your full attention.
• Make a habit of voicing appreciation for people, with specifics: Go beyond "You're so great!" and share why someone matters to you. 

These small moments and low-effort changes gradually deepen bonds over time.

“Human beings are naturally social creatures who are not meant to live in isolation. Even though we often focus on things like diet or exercise for our well-being, our relationships are actually one of the most important factors for our mental health. Connections and community help us regulate our emotions, remind us that we are valued, and help us stay resilient when life gets difficult.” — Reshawna Chapple, PhD, LCSW, Talkspace therapist

Ruptured connections can be repaired

It’s tempting to go “no contact” with people who anger or disappoint us, and it may be necessary in some cases (not everybody deserves access to you). But cutting too many people off can lead to isolation, so be open to the possibility of repair, and learn how to make things right with people who feel you’ve done them wrong.

Repair doesn't have to be a big dramatic conversation. In fact, one of the most valuable things therapy teaches is that repair usually happens in small steps. It starts with slowing down enough to look honestly at your own role in a rupture—not to assign blame, but to get an honest assessment of what happened. A simple "Hey, I realized I hurt you" or "I'm sorry you felt that way, I won't do that again" can do more than a long, defensive explanation. 

When you need others to make things right, be clear about why you feel hurt and what you need for the relationship to get back to a good footing. “Use ‘I feel’ statements, listen without getting defensive, and resist the urge to fix everything in one sitting,” says Famous Erwin, LMHC, LPC, Talkspace therapist. Showing up consistently, following through on what you say, and honoring the boundaries you've agreed on together, is how fractured connections slowly become solid ones again.

Building connections can be a habit

The idea of making new friends or building community might feel overwhelming or confusing, but it doesn’t have to. Connection doesn't require instant chemistry or deep conversation, and is built through small, consistent steps.

To feel more connected with others in your community, make eye contact with your neighbors (or coworkers, or fellow students) say hello, acknowledge the small things you share. These brief, consistent interactions lay a foundation that, over time, creates a sense of ease. 

Sticking to some in-person routines can help too. Visit the same coffee shop, take the same fitness class, volunteer with the same organization. Familiarity breeds comfort, and comfort opens the door to connection.

It also helps to engage in shared activities rather than just face-to-face conversation. Walking side by side, working on a community project, taking an art class—when the interaction isn't just about talking, a lot of the social pressure lifts. You can simply be present with someone without worrying about what to say next.

One often-overlooked connector: small favors. “Ask your neighbor to borrow a tool. Give your neighbor a recommendation for their grill you love. Offer to help your neighbor lug something heavy into their home, and accept help when it’s offered,” says Erwin. “Humans thrive on giving and receiving help from others.” We're wired for interdependence, and these small exchanges remind us and others that we're part of something larger. 

Remember connection is crucial, and therapy can help

This Mental Health Awareness Month we're encouraging you to put as much energy into tending your relationships as you do into any other part of your well-being. Whether it's reaching out to a friend you've drifted from, saying hello to a neighbor, or finally working through a communication pattern that keeps tripping you up, prioritizing interpersonal connections will pay off in increased mental well-being and, hopefully, make life a little more fun. 

And if you're not sure where to start, that's exactly what therapy is for. “If you’re struggling to form new connections, want to understand your own relationship blocks, or simply want help feeling less lonely in your community, a therapist can help you navigate your personal barriers and eventually feel more comfortable engaging in connection,” says Erwin. Ready to work on your relationships with the help of a great therapist? Explore Talkspace and find a provider who can help you show up fully—for the people in your life, and for yourself.