Why is Talking About Looks Damaging to Mental Health?

A woman holds her hand in front of her face

I’m a pretty confident gal. Actually, that’s an understatement. I am a seriously confident woman. I think I’m gorgeous, exceptionally talented, super interesting, and not least of all, very humble.

I’m lucky to have a fantastic mom, who always modelled body confidence, never talked about weight, and told me I was the most beautiful woman in the world (well, except for my equally beautiful sisters). My partners have never made me feel bad about my body. I go for a “queer, curvier Sophia Loren in 1964” vibe, and I’m pretty pleased with the results.

And yet…

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Why You Should Celebrate Small Wins

A Lego rocketman holding a balloon

Have you ever noticed how easy it is for us to feel down on ourselves? We generally don’t have a problem feeling guilty about what we perceive as poor performance. Whether the misstep is big or small, punishing oneself seems to come naturally for many. But when it comes to feeling proud about accomplishing something, it is easy to let the moment slip through our fingertips.

This discrepancy is a problem, as it decreases our motivation and makes it that much harder to achieve long-term successes.

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3 Ways Self-Sabotage Is Holding You Back

Lock on a teal fence

“Are you afraid of success?” My therapist asked me, intently.

I let out a put-out sigh, and my defense immediately went up. “How dare she ask me that?” I thought.

I sat back in my chair, quickly allowing a movie reel of life events that could potentially cause her to ask me such a thing. I quickly realized her pointed question was entirely valid.

I was straddling a thin line between breaking through in my career and remaining stagnant. I had an inbox overflowing with opportunities to guest speak, press and media interviews, and a book pre-order list a mile high — all of which I had yet to reply to.

I sat back, reflected quickly, then replied with a snarky rebuttal:

“I’m a self-saboteur, you know.”

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How to Tell if Someone is Judging You: Defining Judgment

Women talking with laptops in front of them

The words “judge” and “judgment” have negative connotations and tend to place people in a no-win situation. You don’t want to be judged, yet you want to be able to tell if someone is judging you. Even when we know discovering the truth might hurt, curiosity wins.

Judgment, however, is not necessarily something to worry about. There are positive, neutral and negative forms of it. Whether it’s therapy or an actual courtroom, the key is understanding which one you are dealing with and learning how to respond. Continue reading How to Tell if Someone is Judging You: Defining Judgment