Passive Aggressiveness: Why We Do it and How to Stop

Flamingos fighting

You’re having a conversation at a party. It sounds normal enough, but something doesn’t feel right, although you can’t quite put your finger on what. You recognize that your friend is telling you something without telling you something — “I normally don’t like the way you dress, but that dress looks great on you!” she says.

Ouch. It hits you: She’s being passive aggressive.

Passive-aggressive behavior is a way of expressing anger in a seemingly non-hostile way — a deliberate and masked way of expressing covert feelings. It’s a behavior that encompasses more than just eye rolls and faux compliments; it involves a range of actions designed to get back at another person without him or her recognizing the underlying anger.

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5 Psychological Secrets of Those Who Have Faced Death

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These days actor/comedian/speaker/life coach/talent manager Kate Romero has a full and happy life. It wasn’t always that way.

After a difficult childhood that included surviving many traumas, Romero found herself across the table from another deadbeat boyfriend. With several drinks under his belt, he and Romero headed out to their van and took off into the early morning. It was the beginning of a life-changing event for Romero.

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5 Ways Black and White Thinking Poisons Your Perspective

A man's silhouette behind a screen in black and white

I’m a terrible person.

My sister is so beautiful and I’m so ugly.

My boyfriend is the most attractive person I know and I’ll never be as into anyone else again.

We all think of the world in black and white terms at times. From refusing to see the flaws in our loved ones, to being overly hard on ourselves, the human brain’s tendency to understand the world in either/or terms has a profound effect on our relationships.

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Take Control of Your Emotions with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

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We often believe we are at the mercy of situations and events. The long line at the bank made us upset. What that person said got us depressed. There are so many situations in our lives that have the power to make us feel happy or sad, angry or calm.

And yet, is that really what is happening? Does the situation actually control our moods and emotions? Continue reading Take Control of Your Emotions with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Are You Making A Hell Of Heaven?

cognitive behavioral therapy female hand word web

The poet John Milton, in his epic poem “Paradise Lost” (1667), stated — through the voice of his character Satan — “the Mind is its own place and, in itself can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.”

I can think of no better or more eloquent statement to summarize the teachings of cognitive behavioral therapy [CBT]. CBT operates on the premise that our thinking is the precursor to moods and emotions, which is then the basis for a lot of behaviors, both heavenly and hellish. It is not the outer event that makes us feel any particular way but how we interpret and evaluate that event that makes us feel happy or sad, depressed or joyful, frightened or safe, energized or lethargic.

Cognitive behavioral therapy is not positive thinking. It is more about realistic thinking. Continue reading Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Are You Making A Hell Of Heaven?