5 Reminders to Keep You Grounded During Dating Anxiety

Woman Jumping with Umbrella

Dating anxiety affects most single people to some degree. Here are some common anxious questions that run through people’s minds during the dating process. See how many apply to you:

  • Will others find me attractive enough?
  • Will I be interesting/funny on this date?
  • Will I ever find someone I really love?
  • Is the person I’m dating the right one for me?
  • If I end this relationship, will I find someone else?

This anxiety can sabotage your ability to connect confidently and authentically with other people. Here’s how to stay grounded and actually enjoy the dating process. Continue reading 5 Reminders to Keep You Grounded During Dating Anxiety

6 Questions You Need to Ask Before Committing to Someone

Couple holding each other

After countless swipes left and right (mostly left), blind dates, speed dates, awkward dates, always-only-first dates, you’ve met someone you think is wonderful — and he or she seems to think you’re wonderful back. Eventually, neither of you wants to live without each other, so you’re ready to go all in and make a firm commitment.

This is exciting, but it can also be terrifying. After all, finding and committing to the right partner is one of the most important decisions you’ll make in your lifetime. To make sure you don’t lose yourself in the butterflies and giddiness — and instead create a foundation that’s grounded in an understanding that will guide you and your partner throughout your relationship — it’s essential to ask your partner and yourself some questions before taking the next step. Continue reading 6 Questions You Need to Ask Before Committing to Someone

Is the Idea of a Soulmate Bad for Your Relationship and Mental Health?

Couple riding bikes at sunset

When you’re in a new relationship, your hormones are racing and the newness of your love can be intoxicating. It can be tempting to feel like you have met your “soulmate,” the one person who is made for you and only you.

Even though this idea is very appealing and romantic, there are also down sides to thinking this way. The soul mate paradigm can raise your expectations to an impossible level, ironically making you feel less satisfied with your partner overall. Continue reading Is the Idea of a Soulmate Bad for Your Relationship and Mental Health?

Is It Real?: Honeymoon Phase vs. Real Deal Feels

Candy heart in hand

When you’re in the beginning stages of a relationship, it’s easy for everything to seem perfect and for your partner to appear flawless. You probably romanticize everything they do and can’t get them out of your head. “Early feels” are usually characterized by a whole lot of infatuation, and it can be difficult to distinguish if what you feel is the “real deal.”

The beginning of a relationship is likely when you feel the most chemistry drawing you and your partner together, making you feel like you’re on cloud nine. The struggle for an ongoing relationship that lasts – the real deal – is finding a balance between chemistry and consistency to keep the relationship strong. But how do you determine if what you’re feeling is more than just sparks and if it’s a relationship worth pursuing? Continue reading Is It Real?: Honeymoon Phase vs. Real Deal Feels

Why We’re Addicted to the “Dating Chase” (and How to Stop)

Running cheetah

For as long as I can remember having interest in boys, I’ve been chasing them. I chase endlessly — the guys who won’t text me back, the guys who I know don’t want a relationship, the guy who barely know I exist. There’s one guy who I literally chased on and off from ages 14 to 23. Seriously. 9 years! And yet when winning someone’s affection is easy, it’s…not as exciting. And I’m probably far from alone in feeling this.

For many people (self included, obviously) being addicted to the dating chase is very much a pattern and a bad habit. We may overlook the good that we have right in front of us because we’re too focused on feeling the rush of the pursuit or moving onto the next new, exciting thing. Continue reading Why We’re Addicted to the “Dating Chase” (and How to Stop)

How to Go on Dates When You’re Anxious

Couple sitting inside restaurant with foggy windows

Dating is anxiety-provoking regardless of whether you have an anxiety disorder or not. You’re starting a new relationship, spending time with a stranger, opening yourself up to someone new — it can be frightening for even the most secure of people.

But, if you have an anxiety disorder, the anxiety that comes with dating and going on dates can be overwhelming. On a day-to-day basis you’re plagued with fears you’ll make a fool of yourself in front of someone, and now you’re at risk of being in an uncomfortable position in front of someone you want to like you. It’s something out of a nightmare. Continue reading How to Go on Dates When You’re Anxious

5 Things You Didn’t Know About Dating with Depression

Couple holding each other in the dark

If you struggle with depression, it can seem impossible to start or maintain relationships. But don’t let your depressed brain convince you that you can’t date!

In fact, dating and being in a loving relationship is a wonderful way to make you feel like depression isn’t taking over your life. You feel you’re alive again..

Before you rush into dating though, keep in mind some of the ways that dating with depression can be very different than dating without. Continue reading 5 Things You Didn’t Know About Dating with Depression

When One Person Controls the Relationship

A bird, quite possibly a finch, eats from the hand of a man

It would be nice if every relationship had a straight 50/50 power dynamic split…but those in relationships will tell you that’s probably not the case in their partnership. Relationships should be about a shared, equal bond, where partners are teammates who make compromises and share power, rather than a coach versus team member dynamic. Right?

Continue reading When One Person Controls the Relationship

Chemistry or Consistency: What Makes for a Better Relationship

Color in water

The night of my first date with my ex, I felt strong, instant chemistry. The butterflies in my stomach felt more like large birds, and each kiss felt like 4th of July fireworks. Actually, even just looking at him made me feel fireworks!

We became official, and from there…it went downhill. Why? We were lacking consistency and things that came along with it, like trust. Once I wasn’t so blinded by chemistry, I realized we weren’t compatible and there were aspects of the relationship that were not healthy. When it came down to it, we wanted different things in life. There were parts of him I could not accept and parts of me that he could not accept. Continue reading Chemistry or Consistency: What Makes for a Better Relationship