Dating

The harsh reality of long term relationships: Boredom hits.

As time goes by and the relationship’s honeymoon phase recedes further and further in the rearview mirror, it’s likely that the exciting chemistry you and your partner once had just isn’t as present anymore. You might find yourself on autopilot, in a monotonous routine with your partner, and next thing you know, you’re straight up bored.

When a relationship is newer, there tends to be more excitement. You’re experiencing a lot of firsts with your partner, sparks are flying, and you’re having fun. When a relationship is older, it’s common to experience boredom in some aspect of your relationship, whether it’s your day-to-day life at home with your partner, your lack of date nights, your sex life, or all of the above. Continue reading 11 Ways to Combat Boredom in a Relationship

Have you ever had a friend who becomes a chameleon anytime they are dating someone new? Maybe it happens overnight, or maybe you’ve watched them slowly fade away throughout a long-term partnership. Maybe it’s you.

Losing yourself in a relationship often happens before we even realize what’s taking place. One day you’re you, and the next you’re staring in the mirror, barely able to recognize the shadow of yourself you’ve become.

Sometimes it takes a trusted friend or counselor to help us see these changes from an objective, caring perspective. Other times, it dawns suddenly on a person: they don’t recognize themselves anymore. Continue reading 3 Tips to Not Lose Your Sense of Self in a Relationship

When I look back at my quasi-relationships that haven’t worked out, I can see a common denominator. I was going after guys who were emotionally unavailable (let’s be real: beyond emotionally unavailable).

For one example, I was almost in love with someone who had so many red flags he could have been an air traffic controller. He was an hour late to our first date, and chronically late after that…(the first red flag). Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I continued to see him. He had several tattoos that he’d gotten with or for exes, and while we were “seeing each other” he got another that was a nickname another ex gave him…(another red flag). Oh, and he was still legally married, something he told me months later…(the biggest red flag). Continue reading Why We Find Emotionally Unavailable People Attractive

I thought I hit the jackpot when I found a boyfriend who was very similar to me: an introverted cancer who would rather stay in and watch movies with a glass of wine than go out to wild parties. He wrote moody, romantic poetry just like me, he was artsy and sensitive just like me — the list goes on.

In some ways, I did hit the jackpot — but the excitement didn’t last long. A couple months into the relationship, I learned that just because we had very similar personalities, it didn’t mean that we were compatible and it definitely didn’t mean we were going to work out in the long run. Five months after we fell madly in love, we were donezo. As you can imagine, a breakup between two moody writers was not pretty. Continue reading Why Having the Same Personality as Your Partner Isn’t the Secret to Happiness