Can Blaming Others Ever Be Good For Your Mental Health?

Man pointing

Many people tend to blame others for their issues. Prime candidates are parents, partners, friends, bosses, and kids. Perhaps these examples sound familiar?

  • “The reason I don’t have a social life is that my husband is an introvert. If he were more outgoing, I could really get out more.”
  • “My kids are so difficult, it is impossible to have people over the house. They just run wild and I wouldn’t be able to enjoy myself.”
  • “If my dad hadn’t cheated on my mom, I would have a healthy view of relationships now and I wouldn’t keep going for these jerks that treat me poorly.”

It is very tempting to blame others for things going wrong in your life, even personal habits you dislike or your own dysfunctional thought patterns. Continue reading Can Blaming Others Ever Be Good For Your Mental Health?

5 Things You Didn’t Know About Dating with Depression

Couple holding each other in the dark

If you struggle with depression, it can seem impossible to start or maintain relationships. But don’t let your depressed brain convince you that you can’t date!

In fact, dating and being in a loving relationship is a wonderful way to make you feel like depression isn’t taking over your life. You feel you’re alive again..

Before you rush into dating though, keep in mind some of the ways that dating with depression can be very different than dating without. Continue reading 5 Things You Didn’t Know About Dating with Depression

Why Are Impulsive Behaviors So Hard to Control?

A group of men at a party

Many of us don’t know exactly why we take the actions we do. From overeating when you’re not hungry, to having yet another drink on a weeknight, or texting someone we know we shouldn’t be texting, controlling impulsive behavior can be a tremendous challenge.

Why do we act on these impulses? There are a range of reasons, and understanding which of them apply to you can help you figure out how to best address your impulsivity.

Continue reading Why Are Impulsive Behaviors So Hard to Control?

Can You Really Change Your Personality?

Butterflies in different metamorphic stages

Some people have enviable levels of self-esteem and think that their sparkling personalities are flawless, set just the way they are. But others of us often wonder whether certain aspects of our personalities can be changed. Being more extroverted, for example, sounds like fun, or being more confident or risk-taking.

This begs the question: How much of our personalities are set in stone? Can we really change who we are?

Continue reading Can You Really Change Your Personality?

How to Survive the Holidays With Your Partner’s Family

A man dances with a family member

Some people are lucky enough to love their in-laws. For everyone else, getting through the holidays with your partner’s family is a feat akin to tightrope walking without a net. From passive aggressive sisters-in-law, to uncles who make comments about your personality, there are potentially infinite ways for in-laws to offend you — potentially ruin your holiday season.

Thankfully, there are healthy ways to cope. Here are five tips and tricks to help you survive the holidays without a major blow-up.

Continue reading How to Survive the Holidays With Your Partner’s Family

Why Family-Time Brings Out Your Demons, According to a Therapist

Spooky mask coming out of trees

Ah, family time. On TV, it seems like getting together with your family is nothing but fun, inside jokes, and loving glances from the people who know you best.

In reality, though, family time can look very different. Spending time with the people you grew up with often makes people feel angry, sad, inadequate, bored, and of course, guilty for those very feelings.

So, why does family time always seem to bring out your worst self? Continue reading Why Family-Time Brings Out Your Demons, According to a Therapist

5 Reasons for Your Commitment Issues

Crying eggs

For many people, marriage and monogamy sound like an ideal state. These lucky people often couple up and ride off into a beautiful sunset…until, of course, life stressors get in the way and interrupt the honeymoon phase.

Other people, however, see commitment in less idealized terms. It is common to say that there is something wrong with people who have “commitment issues,” but that’s reductive and a little simplistic in most cases. In actuality, there are many factors contributing to what we call commitment issues, and they run the gamut from psychological to evolutionary. Continue reading 5 Reasons for Your Commitment Issues

A Therapist’s Guide to Confidence

A smiling woman wears a crown of flowers

Confidence is elusive for many people. There are many factors that can undermine confidence, but most of them are related to your past experiences in the world — first as a child and then as an adult — and how these experiences have led you to think of yourself.

There are many successful, intelligent people who think that they are “losers,” believing they’ll be discovered as inadequate by those around them. If this describes you, you may be wondering how to release these negative thought patterns and grow more confident.

Continue reading A Therapist’s Guide to Confidence

How to Beat Stagnation

A sloth chillin' on a tree

So many times, we feel like we are stuck in a rut with no clear direction forward. This can happen in a range of areas, including relationships, friendships, work, self-development, or education.

Often, when you have been traveling down the same path for months or even years, it starts to feel like there is only one way to do things. Even if that path makes you unhappy, it feels to you like there is no other option. Here are some examples that may seem familiar.

Continue reading How to Beat Stagnation