Work. It wakes us in the middle of the night, it consumes a majority of our days, and yet we rely on it to provide for the actual life we want to lead. Given its significance and presence in your life, it’s sad to experience work as empty or, worse, dreadful — sapping energy from your soul.
But so many workers do. According to a 2015 Gallup survey, less than a third of employees are fully engaged in their jobs.
You’re having a conversation at a party. It sounds normal enough, but something doesn’t feel right, although you can’t quite put your finger on what. You recognize that your friend is telling you something without telling you something — “I normally don’t like the way you dress, but that dress looks great on you!” she says.
Ouch. It hits you: She’s being passive aggressive.
Passive-aggressive behavior is a way of expressing anger in a seemingly non-hostile way — a deliberate and masked way of expressing covert feelings. It’s a behavior that encompasses more than just eye rolls and faux compliments; it involves a range of actions designed to get back at another person without him or her recognizing the underlying anger.
Continue reading Passive Aggressiveness: Why We Do it and How to Stop
A few years ago, when I was freshly dating my now-husband, I came across an article where a blogger wrote about something interesting that her husband does something interesting.
If she and him are disagreeing, he says, “I love you,” in the middle of the argument to diffuse it. “In the middle of a fight, say, ‘I love you you’re the most important person in the world to me,’ even if at that moment, those words are the hardest ones to choke out because you’re so mad,” she wrote.
I couldn’t fathom it then, and I can’t fathom it now. The last thing on my mind during a heated discussion is adoration, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t things that can be done to soften the situation.
Continue reading Five Ways to De-Escalate a Fight With Your Partner
It’s summertime, and the livin’ is easy, right? Not necessarily.
If you find the back-to-school blues affecting you this month — despite no school to go back to and no life changes since June or July — you’re not alone. There’s evidence that the return of chillier weather, including shorter days as we edge toward winter — can raise anxiety levels among adults and school-age children alike.
Continue reading August Anxiety: Why We Get Anxious at the End of Summer
Lucy and Ethel. Bert and Ernie. Romy and Michele. Where would we be without our friends? Nowhere good, we’re told. A lot of the science on friendships and health focuses on how good friends produce happy, mentally well-adjusted people. After all, our friendships are some of the most valuable relationships we have. We often talk to friends in confidence about things we wouldn’t discuss with our families. Our friends may annoy us, but they can also keep us going.
But other evidence increasingly suggests that bad friends, or even well-intentioned ones with bad habits, can negatively impact your mental health. This causes your mind and body severe stress or leads to problematic patterns. A recent University College London study found that close relationships that cause stress or worrying may even contribute to faster cognitive decline as you age.
Continue reading 7 Types of Friends Who Are Bad for Your Mental Health
Whether you’re waiting for a train, commercials to end or the oven to finish preheating, you likely kill those brief moments by mindlessly scrolling or swiping across your phone screen. You’re not alone in this new normal. During our day-to-day lives, most of us live with our cell phones perpetually within close reach — mostly to Google a dinner spot, text a friend, or scroll through Instagram. But those who constantly reach for their smartphones might be doing so due to anxiety or depression.
Continue reading Why Do You Constantly Reach For Your Phone?
Many people who have mental health disorders such as anxiety and depression turn to cannabis as a source of relief from their psychiatric illnesses. Cannabis comes in many forms or strains, and because of the ease of access, people have traditionally smoked marijuana containing the controversial psychoactive tetrahydrocannabinol (THC). This chemical gets you “high,” which helps some find relief from anxiety and depression.
But for those with mental health issues, smoking marijuana and eating THC marijuana edibles are not always the best way to find relief from symptoms. At times, smoking or taking an edible may even exacerbate symptoms. That’s one of the reasons CBD oil, which doesn’t contain unwanted psychoactive substances, is gaining recognition.
Physical fitness gets a lot of attention, and for good reason — good physical health can prevent conditions such as heart disease or diabetes, and help you maintain a long, independent life. But often neglected is mental fitness — having a healthy and strong mind to allow you to handle the challenges and opportunities that life puts in front of you.
A common thought is that the absence of a mental health disorder means that a person is mentally fit and emotionally well, but according to Rachel O’Neill, a licensed professional clinical counselor, that’s a dangerous misconception. “An individual can certainly experience periods of stress, discomfort, sadness, or anxiety without necessarily meeting criteria for a mental health disorder,” she said. “Mental wellness is a process, and just like physical health, it’s an ongoing process to maintain mental and emotional wellness.”
You know the problems that come with over-scheduling yourself, but you do it anyway. And so you’re stressed, and you’re exhausted. All the competition for your time is manifesting into more anxiety, but you have little time to reflect on what you want and what you need to stay well.
If you want to ease your chronic unrelenting stress, then, “be less busy” is the obvious answer — but it’s an annoyingly unattainable one. After all, if you could just knock things off your to-do list to make time for an afternoon of reading by the fire, wouldn’t you be doing that already?