Author: Ladan Nikravan Hayes

Contributor

The Current State of Veterans’ Mental Health Care

Author By Ladan Nikravan Hayes, Contributor
Posted:
Sculptures of soldiers

For decades, service members have been placed in incredibly difficult situations domestically and internationally, both on the battleground and beyond.

Some veterans come home from these scenarios with the ability to move past suffering associated with what they’ve experienced, and continue building on their lives with minimal dysfunction to their health. For others, however, the traumatic events they have experienced create a dysfunction that requires professional care, which helps them transition more smoothly to civilian life.

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Types of Domestic Violence – Signs and What You Can Do

Author By Ladan Nikravan Hayes, Contributor
Posted:
A woman curls up next to a window

While abuse is often stereotypically portrayed in only one manner, as physical violence, there are actually several types of domestic violence.

Domestic violence is a problem that affects millions of people in all types of relationships — traditional marriages, same-sex partnerships, and relationships where there is no sexual intimacy involved. The United States Department of Justice defines domestic violence as “a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner.”

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Highlighting Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Author By Ladan Nikravan Hayes, Contributor
Posted:
A woman with "love shouldn't hurt" painted on her back

In an effort to raise awareness about domestic violence in the U.S. and across the globe, October has been designated Domestic Violence Awareness Month. This time of the year is an opportunity to deepen our understanding of these issues, share resources, and most importantly, support survivors. But, while it’s a great time to do so, it isn’t the only time.

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Unable to Take a Compliment? Here’s Why…

Author By Ladan Nikravan Hayes, Contributor
Posted:
a deflated yellow smiley balloon on the street

My husband and I spent last weekend with our families. On our way out the door from my parents’ house my mom complimented my new blazer.

“This thing?” I said about a blazer I had been eyeing for months, saved for, and finally splurged on after refreshing the retailer’s site 722 times over Labor Day weekend in hopes of my size restocking.

“It’s not that nice. It’s too heavy. And shorter than I thought it would be. And it was on sale,” I said, listing its flaws.

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What is Hypochondria and How to Get Help?

Author By Ladan Nikravan Hayes, Contributor
Posted:
A doctor checks a patient's blood pressure, surrounded by medical implements

For most people, a sneeze is just a sneeze. But for hypochondriacs, a sneeze can have much bigger implications, making them fear it’s a sign they have a horrible disease.

Put simply, a hypochondriac is an individual who lives with the fear that they have a serious but undiagnosed medical condition — even when diagnostic tests from professionals show there is nothing wrong.

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What Is Reparenting and Why You Should Consider It

Author By Ladan Nikravan Hayes, Contributor
Posted:
A little girl attempts to put on high heels

When you think of therapy, a stereotypical scenario comes to mind: A person lying on a dusty leather couch while some guy with a small notepad sits somewhere by their head, or perhaps across from them, jotting down insights as they speak, probably about their twisted relationship with their parents.

There’s some truth to this scenario (the couch does always seem to be leather, no?), and while talking about your childhood it isn’t the case for all therapy interactions, it is for reparenting.
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How to Assert Yourself at Work

Author By Ladan Nikravan Hayes, Contributor
Posted:
A woman sits confidently at a desk

For as long as I remember, I’ve wanted to be a journalist.

Even before I knew of Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw, The Devil Wears Prada’s Andy Sachs or How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days’ Andie, I knew I was destined to chase deadlines. So, when I graduated during the recession of 2008 and was given my first full-time editorial opportunity, I knew how much of a privilege it was. I was elated to be fulfilling a 10-year dream.

Even though it was a very junior position for a very small magazine publisher, I knew it was an important stepping stone, and I wanted to give it my all. So, I took on everything.

You need your three-hour interview transcribed? I’m on it. Six pieces need to be written and published by Monday? Don’t ask anyone else, my weekend is yours. Slowly, I began to be seen as the one in the office you could count on doing what you didn’t want to do.

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4 Tips to Help You Find Meaning at Work

Author By Ladan Nikravan Hayes, Contributor
Posted:
A man holding paintbrushes with paint on his hands

Work. It wakes us in the middle of the night, it consumes a majority of our days, and yet we rely on it to provide for the actual life we want to lead. Given its significance and presence in your life, it’s sad to experience work as empty or, worse, dreadful — sapping energy from your soul.

But so many workers do. According to a 2015 Gallup survey, less than a third of employees are fully engaged in their jobs.

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Passive Aggressiveness: Why We Do it and How to Stop

Author By Ladan Nikravan Hayes, Contributor
Posted:
Flamingos fighting

You’re having a conversation at a party. It sounds normal enough, but something doesn’t feel right, although you can’t quite put your finger on what. You recognize that your friend is telling you something without telling you something — “I normally don’t like the way you dress, but that dress looks great on you!” she says.

Ouch. It hits you: She’s being passive aggressive.

Passive-aggressive behavior is a way of expressing anger in a seemingly non-hostile way — a deliberate and masked way of expressing covert feelings. It’s a behavior that encompasses more than just eye rolls and faux compliments; it involves a range of actions designed to get back at another person without him or her recognizing the underlying anger.

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Five Ways to De-Escalate a Fight With Your Partner

Author By Ladan Nikravan Hayes, Contributor
Posted:
Lego knight about to be crushed under a Converse shoe

A few years ago, when I was freshly dating my now-husband, I came across an article where a blogger wrote about something interesting that her husband does something interesting.

If she and him are disagreeing, he says, “I love you,” in the middle of the argument to diffuse it. “In the middle of a fight, say, ‘I love you you’re the most important person in the world to me,’ even if at that moment, those words are the hardest ones to choke out because you’re so mad,” she wrote.

I couldn’t fathom it then, and I can’t fathom it now. The last thing on my mind during a heated discussion is adoration, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t things that can be done to soften the situation.

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