Author: Ashley Laderer

How Not to Sabotage a Relationship When It’s Going Well

Author By Ashley Laderer, Contributor
Posted:
An illustration of a person throwing something into the trash bin

I’ll never forget the beginning of the end with my first serious boyfriend.

We were madly in love, and I had no doubt that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him…and then one day I told him he should dump me and leave me now, before he inevitably would at some point in the future. He told me I was being silly and brushed it off. But then every night we spent together, I ended up crying, telling him again and again, “Just leave me now! I know you’re going to at some point.”

Eventually, it (and other things) got to him. He broke up with me, leaving me alone wondering if I’d done it all to myself and I was the reason for my own heartbreak.

Continue reading How Not to Sabotage a Relationship When It’s Going Well

6 Things I Wish I Could Have Told My Anxious College Self

Author By Ashley Laderer, Contributor
Posted:
A woman writing in a notebook with a chunky sweater and some coffee

For many people, college is a time when they come into their own. College gives you the opportunity to not only further your education but also to grow as a person. I realize hindsight is 20/20, however.

Now that I’ve been out of school for a few years, and have a better handle on my mental health, there are certainly a couple things I would’ve done differently.

Continue reading 6 Things I Wish I Could Have Told My Anxious College Self

4 Ways to Deal with the “September Scaries”

Author By Ashley Laderer, Contributor
Posted:
A woman with a clear umbrella reaches out to a yellow leaf

Unless you’re an extreme pumpkin spice latte enthusiast and all-around summer hater, you’ve probably experienced the “September Scaries.”

Unlike the Sunday Scaries, which roll in every week around 7 p.m. on Sunday, September Scaries hit (thankfully) only once a year as fall draws near. There’s just something about September that feels daunting and draining. This exact sentiment may have led to a Grammy for Greenday, whose song “Wake Me Up When September Ends” appeared on their award-winning album.

September Scaries are especially real for those who are still in school, returning to the world of homework and research papers. But, adults who work all year round aren’t immune to the September Scaries.

Continue reading 4 Ways to Deal with the “September Scaries”

How Not Expressing Your Needs in Bed Harms Your Mental Health

Author By Ashley Laderer, Contributor
Posted:
Two wooden figures with lightbulbs for naughty bits "turned on"

Noted hip-hop philosophers Salt-N-Pepa once sang, “Let’s talk about sex baby / Let’s talk about you and me / Let’s talk about all the good things / And the bad things that may be.”

They were definitely onto something. Talking about sex isn’t always easy, but seldom does the best sex happen without some sort of communication. Now, for a lot of people, asking for what they want in bed is no walk in the park. But ask someone who has pushed through and communicated even if they felt awkward doing so, and while they may say “yes,” they’ll likely also tell you it’s well worth it.

Continue reading How Not Expressing Your Needs in Bed Harms Your Mental Health

Is it Okay to Crush if You’re in a Committed Relationship?

Author By Ashley Laderer, Contributor
Posted:
Silhouette of man and woman in nightclub

Having a crush feels amazing — the butterflies, the newness, the way you find yourself smiling when you’re thinking about that special someone. But wait, what if all those warm fuzzy feelings are happening when you’re in a committed relationship…and they’re not directed towards your significant other? Depending on the nature of you and your partner’s relationship, you might have a bit of a dilemma on your hands.

Continue reading Is it Okay to Crush if You’re in a Committed Relationship?

What Flaking on Plans Says About Your Mental Health

Author By Ashley Laderer, Contributor
Posted:
Woman watching tv on couch messily eating popcorn

I can’t lie — I love how good it feels to flake on plans I really didn’t want any part of in the first place. Sweet relief! (But I swear, I really don’t do this often.)

However, I’ll be the first to admit that my plan cancelling is usually the result of something that runs a little deeper than the desire to stay in my PJs and be lazy on the couch. In fact, flakiness — especially sudden-onset flakiness — can sometimes be an indicator of something going on with your mental health.

Continue reading What Flaking on Plans Says About Your Mental Health

6 Ways to Set Boundaries with Energy Vampires

Author By Ashley Laderer, Contributor
Posted:
A man's silhouette in front of red smoke at night

Even if you haven’t heard the term “energy vampire” before, you’ve surely experienced the phenomenon. You know that exhausted, worn out feeling you get after being with someone who just emotionally drains you? Yep, that’s an energy vampire in action, sucking out all your good vibes, leaving you frustrated and tired.

Continue reading 6 Ways to Set Boundaries with Energy Vampires

8 Red Flags to Look Out for When Dating

Author By Ashley Laderer, Contributor
Posted:
Do not enter sign on concrete wall

We’ve probably all experienced — and ignored — red flags while dating. It’s so easy to get swept up in the novelty and excitement of seeing someone new that we’re blind to the not-so-great things going on.

It’s one thing if you’re just looking for someone to casually hook up with — but if you want a real relationship, if you want things to get serious and take things to the next level, you need to be willing to take a step back, wipe the hearts out of your eyes, and get real.

Here are 8 red flags you should look out for if you’re trying to make something blossom into a serious relationship.

Continue reading 8 Red Flags to Look Out for When Dating

The Chemistry Behind Summer Flings (and How to Enjoy Them)

Author By Ashley Laderer, Contributor
Posted:
Couples playing together in the pool

Sandy and Danny from Grease aren’t the only ones who’ve experienced getting friendly down in the sand on romantic summer nights. Something about summer love makes it unlike any other type of romance we experience.

There are a lot of reasons summer flings are so popular and so intense. Long walks on the beach, sharing ice cream cones, late night skinny dips, cuddling in bed with the air conditioner on full blast — what’s not to love? Not to mention, summer flings are way more exhilarating than those of lazy winter cuffing season.

Continue reading The Chemistry Behind Summer Flings (and How to Enjoy Them)

5 Ways Therapy Can Improve Your Sex Life

Author By Ashley Laderer, Contributor
Posted:
Lesbian couple kisses at sunset

If the thought of sharing the nitty gritty details of your sex life with a stranger is enough to kill your libido, well, I don’t blame you. Trust me, I remember how insanely awkward I felt the first time I bought up something sex related to my therapist!

While opening up about such an intimate topic to anyone can be awkward, coming clean about the issues you’re dealing with to a therapist can be super-beneficial to your sex life. After mustering up the courage to bring up the awkward sex talk with your therapist, you can reap big-time benefits. Here are 5 ways therapy can help improve your sex life, as told by 5 people who have experienced it first hand.

Continue reading 5 Ways Therapy Can Improve Your Sex Life

1235Last »