Author: Ashley Laderer

Contributor

Why Having the Same Personality as Your Partner Isn’t the Secret to Happiness

Author By Ashley Laderer, Contributor
Posted:
two girls in matching wigs looking at each other

I thought I hit the jackpot when I found a boyfriend who was very similar to me: an introverted cancer who would rather stay in and watch movies with a glass of wine than go out to wild parties. He wrote moody, romantic poetry just like me, he was artsy and sensitive just like me — the list goes on.

In some ways, I did hit the jackpot — but the excitement didn’t last long. A couple months into the relationship, I learned that just because we had very similar personalities, it didn’t mean that we were compatible and it definitely didn’t mean we were going to work out in the long run. Five months after we fell madly in love, we were donezo. As you can imagine, a breakup between two moody writers was not pretty. Continue reading Why Having the Same Personality as Your Partner Isn’t the Secret to Happiness

What Do Your Fantasies Mean?

Author By Ashley Laderer, Contributor
Posted:
girl on carousel

While we as a society are becoming more open about sexuality, one thing we can’t avoid talking about is fantasies. I’m not talking about sex dreams –– I’m talking about the sexy scenarios we create ourselves in our waking life. You may have one particular recurring fantasy that you can’t get out of your head, or you may have a lot of them across the board. You may be dying to create these fantasies in real life, or you might be content with simply just imagining the scenarios.

Where Do Fantasies Come From?

Luckily, as we become more open about sex, more thorough research around sexuality is being conducted (finally!) which helps us understand how our amorous brains work. Last year, one of the biggest and most in-depth studies surrounding sexual fantasies was conducted by social psychologist Dr. Lehmiller. Over 4,000 Americans participated in the study and guess how many of them fantasize (about their partner or otherwise)? A whopping 97%! Continue reading What Do Your Fantasies Mean?

6 Ways to Be More Compassionate About Your Body Image

Author By Ashley Laderer, Contributor
Posted:
woman smelling flowers wearing a shirt that says resilience

We love summer, but we don’t love the negative messaging surrounding body image and the harm to self esteem that it typically breeds. Summer means pool parties and beach days, people wearing their swimsuits, and being a little bit more scantily clad in general. You’ll also likely see an influx of articles about the best workouts and diets for a beach body, but let me tell you a secret: if you have a body and you’re on the beach…you’ve already got a beach body.

Developing better self confidence and self esteem is something that doesn’t come easily to a lot of us. It’s easy to get caught up in comparing yourself to others in the summertime, and to kick yourself for not looking exactly how you wish you looked. We have to work hard at building a better body image — and while we’re doing that, we also have to remember to be kind to ourselves.

Continue reading 6 Ways to Be More Compassionate About Your Body Image

How to Not Lose Summer Break to Your Phone

Author By Ashley Laderer, Contributor
Posted:
group of girls on a boat staring at a phone

Isn’t it funny how we spend all year waiting for summer to come, but when it gets here, we all just sit around staring at our phones? Instead of enjoying the sun, we find ourselves doing what we’ve been doing all year — endlessly scrolling and tapping, tagging the person across the room in a meme instead of walking over and showing it to them.

Because we’re so attached to our devices, it’s hard to change habits. However, this comes with the risk of losing your entire summer to your phone. Continue reading How to Not Lose Summer Break to Your Phone

A Guide to Surviving the Workplace Crush

Author By Ashley Laderer, Contributor
Posted:
coworkers hanging out at the office laughing

The only time I was actually excited to go to my old job was when I knew my work crush was going to be there. It was a retail job at a shoe store —not a typical 9-5 — so I didn’t see him everyday. But when we did work the same shifts…oh boy.

My mood was totally different on those days. I was excited to go to work and even happy to be at the store. I had a pep (or, um, maybe a sexy strut?) in my step. There was something to think about other than how boring and miserable work was. Finally, I had a reason to go to work. Continue reading A Guide to Surviving the Workplace Crush

What Does a Healthy Relationship With an Ex Look Like?

Author By Ashley Laderer, Contributor
Posted:
man looking down the sidewalk of a woman walking down the street

A guy I used to date had multiple tattoos for his ex girlfriends. His arms, wrists, and neck were covered with little mementos — souvenirs of girlfriends past.

Completely and utterly puzzled, and not too pleased to be seeing these reminders, I asked, “Doesn’t it hurt you to look at those reminders of your exes everyday?” He responded, “Not at all. They were good parts of my life, and I still have good relationships with them now. My exes and I are all on good terms.” Continue reading What Does a Healthy Relationship With an Ex Look Like?

How Your Partner’s Past Might Impact Your Future

Author By Ashley Laderer, Contributor
Posted:
Hand holding black and white picture

For better or for worse, everyone’s got a past, and let’s be real — not everyone’s past is rainbows and butterflies. Our pasts make us who we are and shape our lives, and when we’re in a relationship, we take on our partner’s baggage and interpret it in our own way.

Unless you’re the very first person someone’s dated (unlikely), you’re going to have to also deal with their past relationships, too — the good, the bad, and the ugly ones. What your partner has dealt with in their life has shaped who they are now, and it’s certainly possible that your partner’s past could impact your future together. Continue reading How Your Partner’s Past Might Impact Your Future

7 Signs You’re Being Taken Advantage of in a Friendship

Author By Ashley Laderer, Contributor
Posted:
Friends laughing outside

I had a friend in college who was always taking advantage of me — but I didn’t realize it at first. She would vent to me endlessly about her relationship problems, never letting me get a word in or really asking me about what was going on in my own life. She was my friend, and I wanted to be there for her! Whenever we’d hang out, the conversation revolve around her venting. Oh, and we always had to hang out at her place for her convenience, she’d never come to me.

This continued for months, and then went to another level. She asked me if I could run to the store to make a return for her because she “didn’t have time” to do it herself. One errand turned into multiple errands. I knew she was busy, but why was she making me run these errands for her? I felt like her intern, except I wasn’t getting anything out of it. Was I being too good of a friend? Was she taking advantage of my kindness? Once I realized what was going on, I broke off the friendship. Continue reading 7 Signs You’re Being Taken Advantage of in a Friendship

Can You Be Addicted to Love?

Author By Ashley Laderer, Contributor
Posted:
People hugging with heart glasses on

Falling in love is my favorite high. There’s nothing like it. When I fall in love, I fall. Actually, it might be more accurate to say that I nosedive. I love the adrenaline rush I get before I’m about to see someone I’m falling in love with, the way I feel like I’m going to faint when I kiss them, the way I obsessively think about them all day long, the way I feel like if I don’t have them, I’ll die. I become all consumed by the person I’m in love with, and I want more, more, MORE! It feels like I have an addiction to the person…or, could I just be addicted to love? Continue reading Can You Be Addicted to Love?