Don’t Text Your Ex

Spiraling plane crash

In 2019, we’re more connected than ever. We’re constantly glued to our phones, addicted to texting and social media. We have a direct line of contact to pretty much anyone we want, anytime we want. This means that, for better or for worse, we have a direct line to contact our ex at our fingertips, 24/7. Let’s be real: Most of the time, texting your ex is not a good idea.

When you’re feeling lonely and constantly thinking about your ex, it’s really hard to resist sending a text. Trust me, I know! We’re creatures of habit, and when you’re so used to talking to someone you care about all the time, it’s hard to break the habit and cut contact. But by continuing to text your ex after your relationship is over, you’re just dragging out drama and prolonging the time it takes to truly get over someone. Continue reading Don’t Text Your Ex

Is Your Neediness Justified?

Wolf hugging another wolf

I remember being cuddled up with my ex-boyfriend one morning, trying to muster up the courage to bring something up that was bothering me: the fact we barely texted throughout the day. Eventually, I found the nerve to ask him, “Do you still really like me?” He looked at me, confused, and said, “What!? Of course I do! Why do you ask that?”

I went on to explain that I felt like I wasn’t getting enough attention from him, since I was always the one to initiate text conversations or phone calls. The lack of contact made me feel like he wasn’t into me anymore and had me doubting our few month old relationship. Continue reading Is Your Neediness Justified?

How to Break Up Without Being a Jerk

Gorilla

Breakups suck — even if you’re the one doing the breaking up. This assumes you have a heart, since you’re reading this in hopes of avoiding jerk status.

Unfortunately, breakups are an inevitable part of relationship life. Think about it: every relationship you’re in can’t last forever, right? Sometimes you’re going to be the one getting dumped, and sometimes you’re the one who’s going to be deciding to split. To be a respectful human and have good break-up karma, you’ll want to have good breakup etiquette. Continue reading How to Break Up Without Being a Jerk

Can Casual Sex Ever Be Good for Your Mental Health?

A bee does casual bee stuff without shame

The following is intended for readers 18+

Note: This piece has been updated since it was originally published.

There has been a strong response to this post, which was a wonderful reminder about the importance of being sensitive to our readers’ diverse experiences and beliefs.

The goal of this article is to help readers understand that the stigma and shame around sex and sexuality can be harmful to one’s mental health and that, though there are risks associated with sexual activity — and exploring one’s sexuality may not be for everyone — there may also be benefits. We always want to help you make informed, responsible, and safe decisions that are in the best interest of your physical and mental health.

Thank you,

Talkspace

Continue reading Can Casual Sex Ever Be Good for Your Mental Health?

What’s the “Right Speed” for a New Relationship?

Track race

Entering a relationship slowly? Can’t relate. Any relationship — or quasi-relationship — I’ve been in has been pedal to the metal, full speed ahead…and that has its pros and cons.

If you’ve been keeping up with celebrity news lately, you’ve probably noticed the trend of speedy relationships, particularly when it comes to engagements and weddings. Exhibit A: Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande, who notoriously got engaged and moved into a lavish apartment together one month into dating. Four months later, their engagement was called off. Continue reading What’s the “Right Speed” for a New Relationship?

Should You Get Back Together With Your Ex?

Woman holding out dried flowers

There’s a saying that goes, “Sometimes God sends an ex back into your life to see if you’re still stupid.” Well…that saying’s definitely a little harsh, but it’s got a point.

Exes are your exes for a reason. Either you dumped them, they dumped you, or you came to a “mutual” agreement that things weren’t working out. However, breakups are rarely a clean break, and exes oftentimes find their way back into your life — especially through reminders on social media. Continue reading Should You Get Back Together With Your Ex?

When One Person Controls the Relationship

A bird, quite possibly a finch, eats from the hand of a man

It would be nice if every relationship had a straight 50/50 power dynamic split…but those in relationships will tell you that’s probably not the case in their partnership. Relationships should be about a shared, equal bond, where partners are teammates who make compromises and share power, rather than a coach versus team member dynamic. Right?

Continue reading When One Person Controls the Relationship

Chemistry or Consistency: What Makes for a Better Relationship

Color in water

The night of my first date with my ex, I felt strong, instant chemistry. The butterflies in my stomach felt more like large birds, and each kiss felt like 4th of July fireworks. Actually, even just looking at him made me feel fireworks!

We became official, and from there…it went downhill. Why? We were lacking consistency and things that came along with it, like trust. Once I wasn’t so blinded by chemistry, I realized we weren’t compatible and there were aspects of the relationship that were not healthy. When it came down to it, we wanted different things in life. There were parts of him I could not accept and parts of me that he could not accept. Continue reading Chemistry or Consistency: What Makes for a Better Relationship

5 Impulsive Behaviors That Are Destroying Your Mental Health

A woman dances in a record store

A lot of the time, impulsive people truly can’t help their behavior. In fact, some folks are genetically predisposed to impulsivity, and a handful of mental illnesses such as borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder are characterized by impulsive behaviors. You don’t have to have a mental illness to act impulsively, but engaging in such behaviors might be wreaking more havoc on your mental health than you thought.

Here are 5 examples of (many different) impulsive behaviors that could be destroying your mental health.

Continue reading 5 Impulsive Behaviors That Are Destroying Your Mental Health