Nobody is immune to rejection. Even the most beautiful and talented people have been rejected in one way or another. When you take risks in life, you face the possibility that you might be shut down or might not make the cut.
I lived most of my life in shame of who I was — diagnosed with conditions I’d never share even with some of my closest friends. Labels I’d never dare think about wearing across my chest or around my neck out of embarrassment. But now, these same labels I avoided for years have become *deep inhale* A FASHION STATEMENT! *sharp exhale* What in the world has changed?
Have you ever become spiteful after hearing about someone else’s accomplishments, and felt like a complete jerk? Maybe you’ve felt your heart sink a little bit when someone shares their own good news in the form of an “I’m so excited to announce…” Facebook or Instagram post. Chances are, yes, you’ve felt a little terrible at least once when you’ve watched someone’s success from the sidelines. You find yourself looking at your phone, feeling like a failure, even though you’re not!
Relationship meltdowns happen to the best of us (and they’ve certainly happened to me).
As humans it’s only natural that we make mistakes, have freak-outs, and overreact sometimes. Lots of things can cause us to have a meltdown, from fear of abandonment to jealousy issues. We can’t control the past, and once we freak out, what’s done is done. Luckily, we can control how we act after we have a meltdown, and that’s what’s going to make all the difference.
Here are 6 steps for bouncing back after having a relationship meltdown.
I’ll never forget the beginning of the end with my first serious boyfriend.
We were madly in love, and I had no doubt that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him…and then one day I told him he should dump me and leave me now, before he inevitably would at some point in the future. He told me I was being silly and brushed it off. But then every night we spent together, I ended up crying, telling him again and again, “Just leave me now! I know you’re going to at some point.”
Eventually, it (and other things) got to him. He broke up with me, leaving me alone wondering if I’d done it all to myself and I was the reason for my own heartbreak.
For many people, college is a time when they come into their own. College gives you the opportunity to not only further your education but also to grow as a person. I realize hindsight is 20/20, however.
Now that I’ve been out of school for a few years, and have a better handle on my mental health, there are certainly a couple things I would’ve done differently.
Unless you’re an extreme pumpkin spice latte enthusiast and all-around summer hater, you’ve probably experienced the “September Scaries.”
Unlike the Sunday Scaries, which roll in every week around 7 p.m. on Sunday, September Scaries hit (thankfully) only once a year as fall draws near. There’s just something about September that feels daunting and draining. This exact sentiment may have led to a Grammy for Greenday, whose song “Wake Me Up When September Ends” appeared on their award-winning album.
September Scaries are especially real for those who are still in school, returning to the world of homework and research papers. But, adults who work all year round aren’t immune to the September Scaries.
Noted hip-hop philosophers Salt-N-Pepa once sang, “Let’s talk about sex baby / Let’s talk about you and me / Let’s talk about all the good things / And the bad things that may be.”
They were definitely onto something. Talking about sex isn’t always easy, but seldom does the best sex happen without some sort of communication. Now, for a lot of people, asking for what they want in bed is no walk in the park. But ask someone who has pushed through and communicated even if they felt awkward doing so, and while they may say “yes,” they’ll likely also tell you it’s well worth it.
Having a crush feels amazing — the butterflies, the newness, the way you find yourself smiling when you’re thinking about that special someone. But wait, what if all those warm fuzzy feelings are happening when you’re in a committed relationship…and they’re not directed towards your significant other? Depending on the nature of you and your partner’s relationship, you might have a bit of a dilemma on your hands.
I can’t lie — I love how good it feels to flake on plans I really didn’t want any part of in the first place. Sweet relief! (But I swear, I really don’t do this often.)
However, I’ll be the first to admit that my plan cancelling is usually the result of something that runs a little deeper than the desire to stay in my PJs and be lazy on the couch. In fact, flakiness — especially sudden-onset flakiness — can sometimes be an indicator of something going on with your mental health.