Updated On: January 17, 2025
Watching a parent struggle with depression is a profoundly emotional experience. It can make you feel helpless, sad, angry, and confused. Parental depression, especially in aging parents, is complex and can be difficult to deal with, especially if you’re the sole caretaker.
Fortunately, there are meaningful steps you can take to support a parent through their depression while also prioritizing your own mental health. Having a plan in place can help you identify the signs, offer the right support, and foster hope for recovery.
Keep reading to learn more if your dad or mom is depressed and you don’t know how to help them.
The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) estimates that around 4% of people over 70 have depressive symptoms. However, depression in older adults is often mistaken for general aging or other physical health issues. Be on the lookout for the 10 signs your elderly parent needs help.
Emotional and physical symptoms of depression in older parents include:
Talking about mental health with parents requires sensitivity and empathy. Start the conversation in a safe and comfortable environment and choose a time when you won’t be interrupted. Approach the topic with compassion so it’s easier for them to open up and share their feelings.
Tips to frame the discussion:
Be patient if your parent hesitates at first. Your dad or mom might need therapy and won’t go, and gentle encouragement can make a difference. Offer to help them find and schedule appointments. Their primary care doctor will evaluate symptoms to rule out other physical causes before recommending treatment options (which might include seeing a therapist). Professional mental health support can be a game changer when managing depression.
You can also explore solutions on your own:
“Watching a loved one go through depression can be too close for comfort. At times, it can be hard to know when might be the right time to step in to help or when you should give space. Phases of life changes can take a toll; how we manage stress and maintain health can truly impact how we cope emotionally. But, even in close-knit families, appearing vulnerable in front of our loved ones can be tough. Encouraging outside professional support can be a great suggestion. If it is done with care and kindness, one might be more inclined to consider it.”
Expert Insight
Licensed Certified Social Worker-Clinical, (LCSW-C), LICSW, MSW Elizabeth Keohan
Treatment for depression often uses a combined approach. Therapy and medication can work together for the best outcome. Work with your parent and their doctor to explore the following options, but keep their comfort level and preference in mind.
Lifestyle factors play a role in depression management. Help your parent make small, gradual changes, without pressure, to enhance mood and increase energy levels.
Physical activity doesn’t have to be demanding. Low-impact, gentle exercises like walking, stretching, water aerobics, or chair yoga can effectively boost endorphins and help reduce symptoms of depression. Even gardening or practicing tai chi can be beneficial.
A healthy diet supports physical and mental health and can improve energy levels. Incorporate foods rich in Omega-3 fatty acids, whole grains, lean proteins, and fresh fruits and vegetables into their diet. Avoid processed foods and sugary snacks to stabilize energy levels further.
Hobbies like knitting, painting, volunteering, or doing puzzles can be entertaining and stimulating while offering a sense of purpose. Help your parents get involved in social and recreational activities—even small ones—that they enjoy to keep their minds and bodies busy.
Isolation worsens depressive symptoms, so social interaction is a critical part of treatment. Social support is a key component of recovery. Since loneliness in retirement is incredibly common, look for ways to help your aging parent stay connected with others.
You can consider having them:
Although you might be happy to do it, supporting a parent with depression can be taxing. Take care of yourself so you can remain energized and focused on helping when your dad or mom is depressed.
Here are some ways you can manage your emotional health:
“Depression is a burden, and it can feel that way too for close loved ones, who in their own way endure the weight of it. It can be very demanding, both emotionally and physically. While it’s hard to take steps to move through it, it is so important to prioritize self-care to navigate it. As a family member, it is critical, not only in terms of helping but also in terms of managing your own robust emotional strength. Find support, keep exercise in your repertoire, and for sure, as cliche as it is, remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup. Maintain your own health to support in a proactive way versus a reactive way.”
Expert Insight
Licensed Certified Social Worker-Clinical, (LCSW-C), LICSW, MSW Elizabeth Keohan
If your father or mother is depressed, you need patience, empathy, and persistence to help them. Remember that progress may be slow, and the occasional setback is normal.
Therapy can be a valuable resource that offers tools and coping strategies. Talkspace has convenient online therapy options covered by Medicare, so mental health support for aging parents and their families is accessible and affordable. Take the first step today and contact Talkspace to help your parent get online treatment for depression.
Healthy Aging. September 3, 2024. Accessed November 20, 2024.
Licensed Talkspace Therapist, Elizabeth Keohan has enjoyed working with clients in communities from Washington DC through rural Maine over the course of her career. While she has worked extensively with those experiencing anxiety and depression, she embodies a unique comfort working with the bereaved. Elizabeth combines a compassionate, holistic approach with Cognitive Behavioral Theory (CBT), to help clients counter their somatic response to stress, anxiety, mood, grief and loss.