Why We Don’t Talk About Miscarriage

teddy bear in empty child room

Miscarriage and stillbirth are emotionally intense and very unique forms of grief and trauma, ones that often occur in privacy and silence. For parents eagerly anticipating the arrival of a new family member, fetal death — whether it occurs early or late in pregnancy — can be devastating. The shroud of secrecy that hangs over these topics may make it challenging to talk about, but it’s critical to bring these conversations into the light.

I talked with two experts, Boston-based psychologist Aline Zoldbrod and Doctor Elizabeth Fitelson of Columbia University’s Department of Psychiatry, about the emotional and cultural issues surrounding miscarriage and stillbirth — and how to approach this very distinctive life experience. Continue reading Why We Don’t Talk About Miscarriage

Miscarriage: You Are Not Alone

child gravestone rose feet

“Why do I still feel so sad,” my client said. She was crying in my office after losing her baby when she was 16 weeks pregnant.

“I shouldn’t still feel this sad.”

It had been many weeks since her miscarriage, but the emotional scars and pain were still poignant. My client had a hard time feeling like she had permission to have her feelings of grief and loss.

Miscarriage didn’t feel like a legitimate loss for her. There was no funeral. Many people didn’t know she was pregnant. She was walking around with a loss she felt she couldn’t tell others about. Continue reading Miscarriage: You Are Not Alone