Don’t Get Along with Your Parents? A Therapist’s Tips for How to Manage

Young woman and man drinking coffee in cabin

There is a time in many healthy families where a child grows into adult and their relationship with their parents transforms into a more friendly, equal, relaxed relationship. However, this doesn’t happen for everyone. There are certain people who need to come to terms with the fact that their parents will never be able to be their friends, or to interact with them in a friendly, casual way. Some reasons for this include:

  • Differences in values, e.g. different religions or political views, which preclude one or both parties from being able to get along as friends.
  • Parents who have personality disorders and are mean to their children; this includes parents with narcissism or Borderline Personality Disorder.
  • Children who have experienced emotional, verbal, or physical abuse by their parent have severed or severely reduced contact.
  • Parents who dislike a child’s partner enough to not want to see the child/couple or who make comments that are hard to ignore.
  • Parents who come from a culture or ethnicity where it is not acceptable for children and parents to ever interact in a more casual, peer-like way.

Continue reading Don’t Get Along with Your Parents? A Therapist’s Tips for How to Manage

Is It a Normal Fight or Verbal Abuse? Here’s How to Tell

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Even the most dynamic of duos has the occasional fight. Whether it begins with “Who forgot to take the dog out?” or “Do I really have to go to your brother’s birthday party?”, having arguments is a common — and healthy — part of any relationship.

But in some cases, what we call an “argument” is actually something worse. Ever had a partner who criticizes everything you do? Who shouts and uses cruel language when they get angry (and they may fly off the handle a lot)? Who makes you feel like you’re wrong or “too sensitive” when you try to speak up?

Continue reading Is It a Normal Fight or Verbal Abuse? Here’s How to Tell

How Successful People Handle 3 Types of Toxic Coworkers

Young African-American woman works at desk in airy office space

How Successful People Handle 3 Types of Toxic Coworkers” originally appeared on Fairygodboss, an online career community for women, by women. 

Every workplace is filled interesting personalities —including frustrating ones.

If you feel like you’re surrounded by difficult people at the office — perhaps people who talk too much or a micromanaging boss — take heart, because you’re not alone. Studies have found that one in eight people leave a job due to problems with co-workers.

Since we spend more time at work than at home (and quitting tomorrow isn’t an option for most people), it’s worthwhile to figure out ways to get along.

Continue reading How Successful People Handle 3 Types of Toxic Coworkers

A Guide to Setting Healthy Boundaries in Relationships

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“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.” —Antoine de Saint-Exupery

This quote encapsulates what most healthy relationships really look like — two individuals who support each other on their distinct journeys, rather than two people who become lost in one another. Much of this comes down to having and maintaining clear boundaries, even within a romantic relationship.

It may seem obvious, but what are boundaries, really?

Continue reading A Guide to Setting Healthy Boundaries in Relationships

6 Ways Sex Is Good for Your Health

Pensive young woman lounging at home

Have you ever heard someone say, “Wow, that person’s miserable! They need to get laid!”?

Well, that comment may be offensive and unnecessary, but it isn’t completely wrong. Sex may not be a cure-all (though I wish it were) — but it can have a measurably positive impact on your mood, as well as your physical health!

Continue reading 6 Ways Sex Is Good for Your Health

7 Relationship Myths Debunked by a Therapist

Woman and man in love on beach

Relationships are a tricky business. Many of us spend a great deal of time thinking about relationships, preparing for them, even recovering from them.

As a therapist, I see relationship problems come up quite often in my work with clients. In fact, it’s one of the most common reasons why people seek out therapy.

Continue reading 7 Relationship Myths Debunked by a Therapist

Why Use Picture Messaging in Online Therapy?

If you’re reading this blog post, odds are you are at least somewhat familiar with Talkspace. If not, let me fill you in.

Talkspace is an online therapy platform and app that allows clients and therapists to send an unlimited number of messages back and forth, securely and confidentially. No commutes or scheduling — with all the benefits of traditional, in-person therapy. Needless to say, convenience and affordability are major selling points of the platform.

The vast majority of our users send texts, though many additionally rely on both video and audio messages. What may surprise you is that there is also a significant subset of people who regularly communicate using another format: picture messaging.

Continue reading Why Use Picture Messaging in Online Therapy?

The Best Way to Fight With Your Partner, According to a Therapist

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Fighting with your partner can be stressful, demoralizing, and scary. But fighting doesn’t have to be a source of such angst, and certainly doesn’t have to weaken your relationship. There are productive ways to argue with your partner and work through challenges that can bolster your connection and leave both people feeling better.

Of course, much of the difficulty of fighting comes down to each partner’s communication style. Sometimes, it’s not what we say — but how we say it — that leaves one or both partners feeling misunderstood, angry, and emotionally abandoned. Learning how to fight in a healthy way with your partner is much more important than trying to avoid fights in the first place.

Continue reading The Best Way to Fight With Your Partner, According to a Therapist

Dear Therapist: I’m Hearing You Say My Communication Skills Need Work

Dear Therapist: I’m Hearing You Say My Communication Needs Work

When we think of communication, it may seem like there’s nothing to it, but it’s actually one of the most difficult things to do effectively. And, it can make a world of difference in every relationship we have once we learn how to do it better.

– by Anonymous Talkspace User

When I first started therapy, I didn’t think my communication skills were that bad – I actually thought they were fairly decent. But, I quickly learned that there was much room for improvement. The thing is, people are different, and when it comes to communicating, especially in an emotional state, there’s a lot that could go wrong. Subjective experiences tend to interfere a lot more than I’ve previously realized, and our expectations can significantly cloud our understanding of the words coming out of someone else’s mouth. Continue reading Dear Therapist: I’m Hearing You Say My Communication Skills Need Work

Dear Therapist: How Do I Change People’s Perception of Me?

Now that it’s been a while since I started therapy, I feel myself changing for the better, but I find that people’s perception of me remains the same. How do I help them see me in a different light?

– by Anonymous Talkspace User

From what I understand, the point of therapy is to come into my own, discover who I am, and figure out a way to change the less-than-awesome parts of my personality. It’s a tedious process that requires a lot of work, but I can happily report that it’s starting to pay off. The credit, however, is far from being all mine. I was paired with a very intelligent and thought provoking therapist, whom I have formed a great relationship with. Had I been paired with someone different, who knows what I’d be writing now. Continue reading Dear Therapist: How Do I Change People’s Perception of Me?