“How to Find Peace After Social Media Rocks Your Confidence” originally appeared on Shine, a free daily text to help you thrive.
Jealousy. Ugh. Even typing that word brings up that uneasy, queasy feeling. In this age of social media addiction, it’s near impossible not to feel jealous when you’re flipping through people’s highlight reels and not seeing any of the behind-the-scenes struggles.
I feel that ping of jealousy when I see someone I know book a legit role (I’m an actress), take a luxurious beach vacation fit for Beyoncé, or rocking a bod like Halle Berry. I’m all like “Hi! Can we swap lives? Or just bodies? Or even paychecks?” I start asking myself, “What the heck am I doing with my life!?” I start to feel so far behind—and my good ol’ friends Ms. Gratitude and Papa Positivity are nowhere to be found. Continue reading How to Find Peace After Social Media Rocks Your Confidence
When I was growing up, my family and I made an annual trip to Tampa, Florida to spend the winter holiday with my mom’s relatives, the Lebanese half of my racial identity. We always stayed at my Teta and Jido’s house (grandma and grandpa in Arabic). There was a consistent source of drama, stress, and hurt during these visits: my Teta. My mother dreaded Christmas because she associated the day with Teta driving her crazy, twisting every errand and conversation into a test of emotional stamina.
For many years I was too young to understand exactly why my grandmother was such a toxic person. Her and my Jido fought nightly, and I could hear them yelling through the walls in Arabic or French. I couldn’t fathom why their relationship was so strained, though. Because she was clearly unhappy, I felt sympathy for her. I didn’t have enough context to place blame. Continue reading How to Deal With a Family Member’s Mental Illness During the Holidays
“This Simple Attitude Change Will Dramatically Improve Your Quality of Life” originally appeared on Fairygodboss, an online career community for women, by women.
What if I told you there was one simple technique that could improve every aspect of your life? No, it’s not a green juice, or the newest superfood, or even meditation, though those all have their benefits! It’s a mindset shift called reframing.
I am a huge fan of hyperbole. Why tell someone I am hungry when I can tell them I am wasting away as we speak, punctuated by as many dramatically place swears as possible, accompanied by a gif. While this approach might be amusing when deployed positively, it can also backfire in negative situations. Using that same mentality, a setback at work can become a career-ender, a holiday weight-gain can turn into berating yourself for lack of self-control, and an unexpected breakup can lead to an internal monologue about how unloveable you are. What I’m referring to is negative self-talk. Continue reading This Simple Attitude Change Will Dramatically Improve Your Quality of Life
Narcissism, or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, is almost as hard to deal with in the workplace as it is in family or intimate relationships. The most difficult situation is when your boss is a narcissist, because not only are you forced into close contact with your boss every day, but you are dependent on them for your income.
When your boss is unpredictable, self-centered, and easily upset, you might develop something akin to a PTSD response when you go into work each day. You are terrified of being insulted, shamed in front of coworkers, overlooked for opportunities, or even fired. Fortunately, though, there are ways to deal with your narcissistic boss that may allow you to survive and even thrive at work. Continue reading 6 Ways to Deal With Your Narcissistic Boss
Near the end of each year most of us are chomping at the bit, anxiously awaiting some much-needed downtime. As business slows down and responsibilities wane, people look forward to much-needed rest and rejuvenation. This break is also an opportunity to finally unplug.
There’s a lot of emerging research on the effects of technology use on our collective mental health, but what’s most important to understand about technology is how ubiquitous connectivity can exacerbate worry, fear, sadness and a host of other emotions. If unchecked, this effect could contribute to mental fatigue. Continue reading Why You Should Unplug this Holiday Season, According to a Therapist
It’s that knot of anxiety in the pit of your stomach when you walk down the street. You step off the train, your bag in front of your breasts, flinching lest the next passerby brush you “accidentally-on-purpose.”
It’s never knowing whether your boss is leaning just a little too close.
It’s turning the music up loud so you don’t hear the catcallers, or turning down an invitation to a work outing because the coworker who’s going has a reputation for getting handsy when he’s drunk. Continue reading How Much Effort Do Women Put Into Coping With Sexual Harassment in a Day?
Before high school, I rarely felt insecure about my appearance. Other than the typical adolescent female itch to look more like a Barbie doll (smoother skin, whiter teeth, blonder hair, a smaller nose), I was, surprisingly, at peace with my body. I was much taller than most of my classmates (5’9” since age 11), but my parents and their friends reassured me that soon, I would be thankful for my height, and that my friends might even be jealous.
Expectedly, I soon became a lanky 13-year-old with an insatiable appetite for pizza, and had no qualms about eating half a pepperoni pie every day after school as a snack. My friends complained about their “flabby” stomachs while they did crunches together on playdates. I hate exercise, I told them. Continue reading What Body Dysmorphia Actually Feels Like
How many trips does it take to remember that packing only hours before a flight is an anxiety trigger? At least one more, I guess, because there I was, stuffing clothes into my suitcase and sporadically scanning a list of items I needed to bring.
The feeling that I must be forgetting something carried over to the wee hours of the morning when I opened my phone to call a taxi. Confirming the ride only made the anxiety come on stronger. In a few minutes I’d be out the door and out of luck if I had indeed forgotten something.
Waiting at the gate, I was mentally bouncing back and forth between what I could have left and the problems that could come up during travel. Would I arrive OK? Would there be delays? Will I miss my connection? Will there be taxis available if I arrive late? Am I going to get stuck next to somebody who snores on the plane?
The questions of worry flowed freely through my mind. Continue reading How I Finally Learned to Manage My Anxiety While Traveling
Anger. Panic. Betrayal. Broken trust. Emptiness. Loss. Suspicion. Grief. Ugly crying.
There are many emotions that accompany the discovery that a partner has been cheating, and they are all justified. Infidelity can rock the picture-perfect view you had for your future with your partner, shake your confidence in all realms of the relationship — including emotional and physical intimacy — and downright feel like a punch in the gut. It can also leave you questioning yourself and the value placed on your relationship.
In short, cheating is one of the worst things that can happen in a relationship. Continue reading Mental Health In Bed: Cheating and Forgiveness
Today’s working world is becoming increasingly demanding, and stress impacts nearly everyone at some point during their career. Nonetheless, if the occasional exhausting day has become your everyday experience, it may be a sign that you need to take a break from the 9 to 5. Most people need time to relax and destress, especially those of us coping with mental illness.
But how do you know if you need more than a night or a weekend off? If you’re unsure if what you’re feeling warrants a break beyond standard vacations, ask yourself these five questions. Continue reading 5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Taking Time Off for Your Mental Health