3 Ways Self-Sabotage Is Holding You Back

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“Are you afraid of success?” My therapist asked me, intently.

I let out a put-out sigh, and my defense immediately went up. “How dare she ask me that?” I thought.

I sat back in my chair, quickly allowing a movie reel of life events that could potentially cause her to ask me such a thing. I quickly realized her pointed question was entirely valid.

I was straddling a thin line between breaking through in my career and remaining stagnant. I had an inbox overflowing with opportunities to guest speak, press and media interviews, and a book pre-order list a mile high — all of which I had yet to reply to.

I sat back, reflected quickly, then replied with a snarky rebuttal:

“I’m a self-saboteur, you know.”

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Why We Fall for People Who Are Bad for Us (and How to Stop)

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Raise your hand if you’ve ever been in a relationship with someone who not only wasn’t a good fit, they were downright bad for you. Keep your hand up if you find yourself pursuing this same kind of person over and over again. My hand is still up, is yours?

So often we find ourselves pursuing people who aren’t right for us, continuing a cycle that can sometimes last year or even a lifetime. A new relationship may feel right initially, but that charismatic charmer soon reveals themselves to be yet another emotionally unavailable partner. We don’t even see it coming. Why do we keep going for people who are bad for us?

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6 Ways to Set Boundaries with Energy Vampires

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Even if you haven’t heard the term “energy vampire” before, you’ve surely experienced the phenomenon. You know that exhausted, worn out feeling you get after being with someone who just emotionally drains you? Yep, that’s an energy vampire in action, sucking out all your good vibes, leaving you frustrated and tired.

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4 Ways to Support Your Mental Health While Unemployed

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Losing a job — or even leaving one voluntarily — can take a huge toll on your mental health. First and foremost is the stress and worry about how you will stay afloat financially. Your daily routine also gets thrown off, and your self-esteem and identity might take a hit as well. And if you have family or a spouse to support, it can be easy to fall into the trap of guilt and shame over the inability to provide income in the short-term.

Unemployment means living with an uncertain future, and this alone can trigger depression and anxiety in many of us. But you should know that almost all of us have been there at one time or another, and you are not alone. Most importantly, there are actionable things you can do to protect your mental health.

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4 Ways to Avoid Sabotaging Your Mental Health While on Dating Apps

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When I joined the online dating scene in 2011, I strategically crafted my profile with the right keywords, phrases, and photos that I thought would grant me the best chance of landing a date, and hopefully, a long-term relationship that would end in marriage. It was challenging to accept this new level of vulnerability and publicly announce that I’m single, looking, and by the way, would you please pick me?

Dating apps like Bumble represent some of the highest-grossing social experiences in app stores worldwide. Bumble’s $1 billion valuation comes as it surpassed $100 million in revenue in 2017. It reached these heights by offering something different to the dating app experience: letting the other party initiate the conversation.

Dating in the modern era is a process that requires patience as you swipe, click, and message your way through a sea of potential significant others. To safeguard your mental health from the first day you create your profile, follow these key guidelines as you navigate dating apps.

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How to Stay Balanced During Major Life Changes

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If there’s one thing that’s inevitable in life, it’s change. Sometimes those changes are small, but every once in awhile they’re major — think marriage, divorce, loss of a loved one, a new job, having children, going back to school, or buying a house. These transitions often uproot our world, sometimes in ways we aren’t prepared for or don’t want to deal with.

For all the pain, uncertainty, or joy these major life changes bring into our lives, there’s no doubt they can take a toll on our mental health as we try to navigate our way through uncharted territory.

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Our Relationship Expert Gets Real With Your Questions About Love

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Relationships are complex, and require a great amount of effort between two people, one or both of which may be working through mental health challenges. We recently asked Talkspace Instagram followers to share their burning questions about relationships, specifically in a mental health context.

Talkspace’s relationship expert, clinical psychologist Iris Reitzes, PhD, kindly lent her expertise to help answer your important questions.

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How To Maintain Independence While in a Relationship

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Friends and media tell us about breakups where people emerge with no sense of self. Who am I now that I’m single? Healthy relationships thrive on both partners being able to maintain a clear sense of self, especially when it comes to their most fundamental needs and desires. Even knowing this, however, it’s still easy to accidentally find yourself giving more to the relationship or your partner than is ultimately sustainable.

We can wear ourselves out in relationships through the best intentions and desire, and so often it’s because we want what a loving relationship promises — love and acceptance — that we’re willing to give up our own independence and perspective in order to have it.

With this in mind, it’s important to ask — how can you maintain your independence while in a relationship?

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4 Ways to Stop Obsessing About Your Relationship

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For many people, obsessing over various aspects of our lives is quite common. For some, we chalk it up to our perfectionist mindset or Type-A personality; for others, they blame their OCD.

Regardless of the reason or frequency, obsessive thought patterns can negatively affect our day-to-day activities, routine, and — most importantly — our relationships.

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