This Simple Attitude Change Will Dramatically Improve Your Quality of Life

happy woman with laptop lying on couch

This Simple Attitude Change Will Dramatically Improve Your Quality of Life” originally appeared on Fairygodboss, an online career community for women, by women.

What if I told you there was one simple technique that could improve every aspect of your life? No, it’s not a green juice, or the newest superfood, or even meditation, though those all have their benefits! It’s a mindset shift called reframing.

I am a huge fan of hyperbole. Why tell someone I am hungry when I can tell them I am wasting away as we speak, punctuated by as many dramatically place swears as possible, accompanied by a gif. While this approach might be amusing when deployed positively, it can also backfire in negative situations. Using that same mentality, a setback at work can become a career-ender, a holiday weight-gain can turn into berating yourself for lack of self-control, and an unexpected breakup can lead to an internal monologue about how unloveable you are. What I’m referring to is negative self-talk. Continue reading This Simple Attitude Change Will Dramatically Improve Your Quality of Life

6 Ways to Deal With Your Narcissistic Boss

female employee at desk frustrated with male boss standing behind her

Narcissism, or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, is almost as hard to deal with in the workplace as it is in family or intimate relationships. The most difficult situation is when your boss is a narcissist, because not only are you forced into close contact with your boss every day, but you are dependent on them for your income.

When your boss is unpredictable, self-centered, and easily upset, you might develop something akin to a PTSD response when you go into work each day. You are terrified of being insulted, shamed in front of coworkers, overlooked for opportunities, or even fired. Fortunately, though, there are ways to deal with your narcissistic boss that may allow you to survive and even thrive at work. Continue reading 6 Ways to Deal With Your Narcissistic Boss

Why You Should Unplug this Holiday Season, According to a Therapist

woman holding unplug mug snowy winter day

Near the end of each year most of us are chomping at the bit, anxiously awaiting some much-needed downtime. As business slows down and responsibilities wane, people look forward to much-needed rest and rejuvenation. This break is also an opportunity to finally unplug.

There’s a lot of emerging research on the effects of technology use on our collective mental health, but what’s most important to understand about technology is how ubiquitous connectivity can exacerbate worry, fear, sadness and a host of other emotions. If unchecked, this effect could contribute to mental fatigue. Continue reading Why You Should Unplug this Holiday Season, According to a Therapist

How Much Effort Do Women Put Into Coping With Sexual Harassment in a Day?

women at work uncomfortable with male co-worker touching her on arm

It’s that knot of anxiety in the pit of your stomach when you walk down the street. You step off the train, your bag in front of your breasts, flinching lest the next passerby brush you “accidentally-on-purpose.”

It’s never knowing whether your boss is leaning just a little too close.

It’s turning the music up loud so you don’t hear the catcallers, or turning down an invitation to a work outing because the coworker who’s going has a reputation for getting handsy when he’s drunk. Continue reading How Much Effort Do Women Put Into Coping With Sexual Harassment in a Day?

What Body Dysmorphia Actually Feels Like

female doll in glass jar

Before high school, I rarely felt insecure about my appearance. Other than the typical adolescent female itch to look more like a Barbie doll (smoother skin, whiter teeth, blonder hair, a smaller nose), I was, surprisingly, at peace with my body. I was much taller than most of my classmates (5’9” since age 11), but my parents and their friends reassured me that soon, I would be thankful for my height, and that my friends might even be jealous.

Expectedly, I soon became a lanky 13-year-old with an insatiable appetite for pizza, and had no qualms about eating half a pepperoni pie every day after school as a snack. My friends complained about their “flabby” stomachs while they did crunches together on playdates. I hate exercise, I told them. Continue reading What Body Dysmorphia Actually Feels Like

How I Finally Learned to Manage My Anxiety While Traveling

aerial view of plane wing and New York City below

How many trips does it take to remember that packing only hours before a flight is an anxiety trigger? At least one more, I guess, because there I was, stuffing clothes into my suitcase and sporadically scanning a list of items I needed to bring.

The feeling that I must be forgetting something carried over to the wee hours of the morning when I opened my phone to call a taxi. Confirming the ride only made the anxiety come on stronger. In a few minutes I’d be out the door and out of luck if I had indeed forgotten something.

Waiting at the gate, I was mentally bouncing back and forth between what I could have left and the problems that could come up during travel. Would I arrive OK? Would there be delays? Will I miss my connection? Will there be taxis available if I arrive late? Am I going to get stuck next to somebody who snores on the plane?

The questions of worry flowed freely through my mind. Continue reading How I Finally Learned to Manage My Anxiety While Traveling

Mental Health In Bed: Cheating and Forgiveness

man kissing woman in bed

Anger. Panic. Betrayal. Broken trust. Emptiness. Loss. Suspicion. Grief. Ugly crying.

There are many emotions that accompany the discovery that a partner has been cheating, and they are all justified. Infidelity can rock the picture-perfect view you had for your future with your partner, shake your confidence in all realms of the relationship — including emotional and physical intimacy — and downright feel like a punch in the gut. It can also leave you questioning yourself and the value placed on your relationship.

In short, cheating is one of the worst things that can happen in a relationship. Continue reading Mental Health In Bed: Cheating and Forgiveness

5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Taking Time Off for Your Mental Health

stressed woman at work with coffee and laptop

Today’s working world is becoming increasingly demanding, and stress impacts nearly everyone at some point during their career. Nonetheless, if the occasional exhausting day has become your everyday experience, it may be a sign that you need to take a break from the 9 to 5. Most people need time to relax and destress, especially those of us coping with mental illness.

But how do you know if you need more than a night or a weekend off? If you’re unsure if what you’re feeling warrants a break beyond standard vacations, ask yourself these five questions. Continue reading 5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Taking Time Off for Your Mental Health

How to Stop Dwelling on Your Mistakes

business woman nervous during meeting interview

Mistakes can haunt us. Long after the dust has settled, we replay the incident over and over, ruminating on what we could have done differently, analyzing each detail as a reflection of our shortcomings. This pattern of thought is not only counterproductive, it’s bad for our mental health. Excessive self-criticism can contribute to feelings of depression and anxiety.

The good news is there are many methods of moving on and forgiving ourselves. It is difficult to let go of the past, but not impossible. Continue reading How to Stop Dwelling on Your Mistakes

An Open Letter To My Catcallers On My Way To Work

street harassment mural brooklyn

An Open Letter to My Catcallers On My Way to Work” originally appeared on Fairygodboss, an online career community for women, by women.

Dear Catcallers On My Way to Work This Morning,

Like a stray hair that slinks down the skin of my back, I can feel your eyes. Like the Spanx under my skirt you strip away with your mind, your words suffocate me.

On my way to the office, I saunter through Manhattan’s Herald Square. It’s crawling with wide-eyed tourists, to whom you’re supposed to be passing flyers and ushering onto double-decker buses. You call me an, ahem, part of the female anatomy because I won’t smile for you. I grip my keys between my knuckles, and I flash you the finger. Continue reading An Open Letter To My Catcallers On My Way To Work