Online, our relationship was great. We had a lot in common. We couldn’t get enough of each other’s “texting company.” It may seem crazy to you, but it seemed like a good idea at the time: I invited a person I’d never met to fly halfway across the world — not only to meet me in person, but also to stay in my apartment for the two weeks she was visiting. I hoped the relationship would turn into something rich and real, distance be damned. Bad decision.
Just two days into her stay, the red flags started going up. She manipulated me, created a hostile atmosphere in my home, initiated never-ending drama, made ridiculous demands of me, criticized me often, talked poorly about me behind my back, forbade me from talking to friends about our relationship. Can you say toxic? I can, and thankfully, I got this person out of my life. But it wasn’t easy.
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
While there are plenty of signs you may be in a toxic relationship, it’s not always clear when you’re deep in the dynamic itself. Often times, a toxic partnership starts out well enough, but then slowly (and subtly) starts to erode your sense of self. One of the first warning signs of a potential toxic relationship is that the other person is consistently violating your boundaries.
Continue reading Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship (+ How to Get Out of It)
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“3 Misconceptions Your Coworker With Depression Wants You To Stop Believing” originally appeared on Fairygodboss, an online career community for women, by women.
In the past few years, there has been an uptick in people being more open about mental health issues, and for that, I will forever be grateful. For too long, people felt ashamed to admit when they were battling anxiety or depression, even though they are two of the most common mental illnesses in the U.S., alone.
However, that doesn’t mean there aren’t still a few irritatingly persistent stereotypes and misconceptions about depression around. Here are a few things that your coworker with depression wants you to stop believing.
Continue reading 3 Misconceptions Your Coworker With Depression Wants You To Stop Believing
“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.” —Antoine de Saint-Exupery
This quote encapsulates what most healthy relationships really look like — two individuals who support each other on their distinct journeys, rather than two people who become lost in one another. Much of this comes down to having and maintaining clear boundaries, even within a romantic relationship.
It may seem obvious, but what are boundaries, really?
Continue reading A Guide to Setting Healthy Boundaries in Relationships
Have you ever heard someone say, “Wow, that person’s miserable! They need to get laid!”?
Well, that comment may be offensive and unnecessary, but it isn’t completely wrong. Sex may not be a cure-all (though I wish it were) — but it can have a measurably positive impact on your mood, as well as your physical health!
Continue reading 6 Ways Sex Is Good for Your Health
Relationships are a tricky business. Many of us spend a great deal of time thinking about relationships, preparing for them, even recovering from them.
As a therapist, I see relationship problems come up quite often in my work with clients. In fact, it’s one of the most common reasons why people seek out therapy.
Continue reading 7 Relationship Myths Debunked by a Therapist
We know that women face a number of challenges to achieving equality. In the boardroom, we face the wage gap. And in the bedroom: The orgasm gap.
Researchers (and everyday people!) have found that a gap exists between the frequency with which men and women experience orgasm, especially during heterosexual sex. Specifically, women consistently have fewer orgasms than their male partners.
Continue reading The Psychology of the Orgasm Gap
This piece is part of our Darkest Day series, a collection of stories from people who’ve made it through the worst of their illness and now light the way for others.
It must be possible to spend your early 20s in a way that doesn’t prompt later regret. Knowing what it feels like to be, say, 22, newly graduated from college, and recently moved in with a drop-out junk dealer boyfriend, it’s hard for me to imagine. Some people must have the strength of character, or luck, or some combination, to skip over the throwing-your-life-away-as-soon-as-it becomes-your-own stage of development. I’m curious about them.
When I was 22, I decided to throw my life away with the most unsuitable person I had met to date.
Continue reading Toxic Love: The Relationship that Almost Undid Me
Sex is wonderful under the right circumstances, but it can turn into something not-so-great and unhealthy when it becomes a way of acting out, or a coping mechanism for other, deeper issues.
Especially when your mental health isn’t on it’s A-game, your sex life can get out of whack.
Here are some less than ideal decisions around sex one can make … and how to avoid them.
Continue reading When Is Sex Bad For Your Mental Health? (+ What To Do About It)
Dreams have been viewed as a key to the unconscious mind ever since 1899, when Sigmund Freud wrote his canonical text The Interpretation of Dreams. Freud theorized that dreams act as a mental safety valve, allowing individuals to experiment with what it might feel like to act out negative emotions, fantasies, or impulses in a “safe” space, not the waking world.
While Freud’s dream theory has been an important contribution in the history of psychology and psychoanalysis, it has since been discredited as unscientific — along with his idea that analyzing dreams can uncover the root cause of a patient’s neurosis, usually a repressed traumatic event experienced as a child.
But the purpose of dreams, and their possible connection to both our subconscious and conscious minds, continues to fascinate neuroscientists and psychologists alike.
Continue reading Why You Should Pay Attention to Your Dreams
Working while living with a mental health condition is often difficult. While some companies are becoming more aware of the importance of workplace mental health, not all employers are accommodating. It takes a lot of time and energy to apply for a new job, and it is deflating to start a new job only to find out the environment is not conducive to your mental health and well-being.
Perhaps the duties of the position are more demanding than what was initially expected, the hours are excessively long, or there is no HR support. To prevent this situation, job seekers can prioritize finding an employer that cares about mental health. Here’s how.
Continue reading How to Know If a Company Will Be a Good Place for Your Mental Health