The Best Way to Fight With Your Partner, According to a Therapist

Couple having conversation outside

Fighting with your partner can be stressful, demoralizing, and scary. But fighting doesn’t have to be a source of such angst, and certainly doesn’t have to weaken your relationship. There are productive ways to argue with your partner and work through challenges that can bolster your connection and leave both people feeling better.

Of course, much of the difficulty of fighting comes down to each partner’s communication style. Sometimes, it’s not what we say — but how we say it — that leaves one or both partners feeling misunderstood, angry, and emotionally abandoned. Learning how to fight in a healthy way with your partner is much more important than trying to avoid fights in the first place.

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The Surprising New Connection between Sleep and Mental Health

Woman with alarm clock

Sleep research is gradually establishing itself as an important field, and a recent study focusing on the relationship between insomnia and depression may have useful implications for mental health practitioners.

Insomnia is generally regarded as a core symptom of depression, but new research shows that it may actually be a cause of it. The study, which was conducted by sleep researchers at the Sleep and Circadian Neuroscience Institute at the University of Oxford in the United Kingdom, found that “sleep disruption is a driving factor in the occurrence of paranoia, hallucinatory experiences, and other mental health problems in young adults with an average age of 25.”

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4 Tips for Dealing with Difficult People, According to a Therapist

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Everyone knows difficult people — whether at work, at home, maybe even in your friend group. While people can be difficult for a variety of reasons, most people we’d identify as “difficult” share something in common: they are hard to interact with. Perhaps they are fixated on being right, always pointing out others’ flaws. They may make social situations tense by being quick to criticize or make fun of others, whether openly or passive-aggressively. They may explode when they are challenged, or have volatile mood swings. Often, others feel like they have to walk on eggshells around them.

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How Therapists Keep Their Clients Accountable

Coffee cup and calendar for accountability

Working with a therapist is one of the best things that you can do to better your mental health. It is a highly individualized process and can look different from person to person. This is what makes therapy feel so safe and productive for so many people.

At the same time, there often comes a time when you’re working on particular goals in therapy and need to be held accountable for making progress. Staying on task, and being accountable for your progress, is an important part of the therapy process — but it can be tricky territory when you need help staying on track. Some people may feel ashamed to ask for help, others may be resistant to the thought of being held accountable.

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Is It Normal to Still Love Your Ex?

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Love’s favorite thing to do is to stick around when it isn’t convenient. Perhaps the worst thing about a breakup is that the feelings don’t walk out of your life as easily as your ex did. Instead, they linger. Unsolicited late night “I still love you” text messages ensue. And if you’re anything like me, you think about your exes often, you still write in your journal about them, and, most importantly, you struggle to resist the strong urge to stalk them on social media.

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A Guide to Not Being Miserable During the Winter Months

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Even if you don’t have seasonal affective disorder or another kind of depression, it’s absolutely possible for you to feel the winter blues. Unless you’re one of those people who enjoys the cold and shorter days, you may have to take some precautions to make sure you don’t slip into a dark place…and I’m not just talking about the lack of daylight hours!

As the winter barrels ahead, use it as an opportunity to really get in tune with your feelings. Take note of your emotions and evaluate if the holiday season and the colder weather have been affecting you negatively. If they have been impacting you, don’t worry. There’s a bunch of things you can do to cheer up, even just a bit.

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How Psychology Stigmatized Female Orgasm (and How We Got It Back)

woman's hands on bedsheets

For most of us, orgasms are, simply, awesome. Yet from the origins of modern psychology in the late nineteenth century, a combination of cultural stereotypes, pseudoscience, and plain old misogyny created an enduring notion that women’s orgasms were a problem to be solved, rather than a normal part of sexual pleasure and mental wellbeing.

From the nineteenth to the mid-twentieth centuries, many psychologists, inspired by Freudian psychoanalysis, argued that women should only achieve orgasm through vaginal penetration by a man. Any other kind of female sexual pleasure — including masturbation, queer sexuality, and any stimulation of the clitoris — was considered a sign of “masculinity,” imbalance, or even insanity.

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Should You Disclose a Mental Illness During the Hiring Process?

man interviewing disclose mental illness during interview

I run around my apartment a little out of sorts, throwing random items of clothing into an overnight bag. From reading the hospital’s website, I know I can’t bring anything with drawstrings, but I throw my green hoodie in the bag anyway. I can’t imagine being without it.

My packing done and my hospital check-in time set, I’m not sure what else to do with myself on a Friday afternoon. I haven’t been to work in three days, but I guess I should inform them what’s happening. I hop in the car and fly over to the office to catch up on a few hours of work before being locked in a mental hospital for a week or to officially ask my boss for more time off, or…I don’t know what I was thinking. I was clearly in a paranoid, panicked, mentally ill state.

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How Staying in a Job You Hate Affects Your Mental Health

man with head in hands across from boss

When it comes to your career, there is nothing worse than a job you hate, literally.

According to a University of Manchester study, having a “poor quality” job — a job you hate — is actually worse for your mental health than having no job at all. It may sound hard to believe until you’ve been there — hostile co-workers, a passive-aggressive boss, or mind-numbing assignments. Not to mention we often spend 40 or more hours a week invested in our job, and that’s a lot of time to spend in a bad situation.

For the 51% of Americans employed full-time who reported to Gallup in 2017 that they’re uninterested in their jobs and the 16% who dislike their workplace, staying at a job you hate is bad news for your mental health. Here’s why.

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How to Address Your Mental Health During Hiring Season

young woman nervous during job interview

Networking and business cards. Cover letters and resumes. Applications and interviews. It all adds up to the same thing — job hunting.

If any of these concepts, say networking or interviewing, make your hair stand on end, you’re in good company. According to a 2013 study, 92 percent of Americans fear at least one part of the job interview process, whether that’s having the jitters, showing up late for the interview, or not knowing how to answer difficult questions. This doesn’t even cover the nail-biting anxiety of waiting for a return email or phone call after you’ve sent off yet another application or completed an interview.

Combine the normal job search stress with a mental health issue, and the task may seem impossible.

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